frustrated.

I hate being ignored. I also hate it when people dance around the questions I ask because they're hiding something.
I really really really feel so angry when people lie and they think I'm not catching on. It's an insult to my intelligence not to mention if you're lying about something you're probably doing something you shouldn't be doing in the first place.
I've been trying to talk to this person that used to be a close friend of mine and they are never around anymore. I tell them I really need to talk to them and their answer when I ask what they're doing that night is, "uhmm, I don't know...". Okay. Thanks for the cooperation.


Don't claim to be an honest, upfront, Christian and lie, sneak, and avoid being confronted and do things that you once condemned others of doing. We're all hypocrites and I knowww that I've been hypocritical in my past but people have confronted me and I moved on and grew from it. I just don't really know what to do anymore.



classes next semester:
poetry 1
creative non-fiction
brit lit. 1900's
francophone world
french conversation I

50% my rear end

Bonjour tout le monde.
(hello everyone)

I'm afraid I have the case of "The Monday's". I had french class this morning and it went as well as it could I suppose. We are studying "Paris" by dissecting french poetry and watching french commercials. All very interesting but for the past 2 class sessions my teacher has given me 50% out of 100% class participation. THAT is bull-crap. It's fairly useless talking to her about it, too, because she's pretty set in her ways. Lord, give me strength to last through these next few weeks.


I'm alone in my apartment right now; I just got home from RUF girl's lunch at the MSC (marshall student center). I'm obsessed with buying stuff to decorate this place. I hate hate HATE blank, white walls. There's four of us living here though and I do not want to be the only one making decoration purchases. I can't get my mind off of this amazing elephant I found at the Salvation Army thrift store. It was 9 dollars and really a big piece of art...If I'm still thinking about it on Friday, and if it's still there when I go back, I will buy it because then, it was just meant to be. Target is ALSO the bomb. I could go there every day and find something else to buy because they have the coolest/cutest stuff there from clothes, underwear, little trinkets that I really shouldn't buy but I would anyways.

Speaking of random purchases; in the past 2 weeks I have bought 6 movies from blockbuster. They have this amazing deal when you buy 3 movies for 20 bucks. Amaaaazing. I bought Watchmen, Yes Man, He's Just Not That Into You, Away We Go, Gran Torino, and the Soloist. I need a job.


Why do people think sex and drugs are the best things to write about? In my fiction class that's all people seem to write about...and they think it's funny. I feel like I'm in a class of 13 year olds who are experimenting for the first time and it makes me sad. I don't care if you've smoked weed before and did something ridiculous...who hasn't these days? You people are actually part of the norm. *****for the record, I have never smoked pot, smoked a cigarette for that matter, or injected anything into my body***** It's just discouraging because that type of subject is encouraged because it's "naughty" or "taboo". I think it's overrated, and overdone. Write about things that you really care about or things that really interest you! That's what I do, and I'm fairly sure my grades are surpassing most of theirs.



Alright, I guess that's enough for today. Until next time :)

au revoir mes amis!

L'ecrire creatif.

I think this blog would be of better use if I started using it for which I am paying thousands of dollars studying in college. From now on, these blogs MAY or MAY NOT be from actual occurrences in my life, but merely figments of my imagination.



ALSO. I speak in Franglais half the time :)




Next semester looks similar to this one; lots of reading, lots of stress, lots of Rachel not having much time for anything else.



Eli's still my main man <3

I'm Back.!

I don't know why I always forget to write on here! Life just becomes so busy I end up forgetting about it. Today I had a french oral and I think it's the best oral I've had because I did not plan too much what I wanted to say, I just studied the vocabulary and hoped for the best. My question was "what's more important, a high salary or a job that you love" this is of course written in french so I responded, in french, that I wanted to be a missionary and I would rather give my money away than to keep it all for myself. I said a lot more than that but I don't really remember it, it was a few hours ago.

Eli is now an EMT and I couldn't be more proud of him!!! He works so hard, 13 hour night shifts 3 times a week. By the way, he's a full-time student...he's a busy bee. We've been dating for almost 10 months...time FLIES!

I guess that's all I have to say right now. Summer Break in...13 days (not including weekends)



BYE
Rachel

Five Months Later...

Okay, so it's been awhile since I've written. More than awhile, it's been five months. I love how when I created this blog I had the intentions of blogging often in hopes to improve my writing. It's hilarious actually. For the past five months I think I have learned a lot.

• I changed my major to English-Creative Writing.

Can you believe it? I am not sure what I want to do with that, but teaching is always a possibility.

• I hope to minor in French (I'm in French II right now).

Not that easy. Trip to France soon would be pretty amazing.

• I see that Eli is more patient with me than anyone else outside of my family

I love him so much...and he loves me more than I deserve. Today is our 7th month dating :)

• I realize that Love is an action that people work hard to express.
• I know where I'm living next year...off campus, in Collegiate Hall. I'm pumped.
• Jamie is for sure my roomie, and hopefully Katie will be able to stay too :(
• I gained some weight back from Isagenix over the holidays, but I'm workin' hard to get it all back off.

I have class in about 30 minutes or so...it's called Death and Dying. Eli's in the class with me actually haha, it sucks. It's wayyy boring and kind of useless. It's supposed to be a social science credit (its one of my last gen. eds in college wooohooo).
It's also raining outside. I'm praying that it stops long enough for me to get to class for an hour and fifteen minutes then can continue once I make it safetly and dryly back to my dorm.
I'm cooking Eli dinner tonight so that should be fun. I have a few surprises in store from him...haha.
Anyways, I guess that's it.
BYE :)
Rachel

401 A. hotties...

I'M BACK IN TAMPA!!!
It feels great to be back too. Classes are awesome. Roomie is the bestest everrrr and my other roomies next door are amazing too! Eli is good too...he took me out for our 2 month to an all you can eat brazilian steak house. AJLKSDFJKLADSF! SOOO much food. and alot of fun :)
Uhm. I thought I was in the mood to journal but I'm not all of a sudden. Sooo peace out.
Rach

One Month

It's been exactly one month since me and Eli started dating...and I just realized that I haven't posted a blog since before me and Eli were even together so for those who actually read this, surprise! haha :) This summer has been one of the best I've ever had. I never follow through with goals I set for myself usually and I have accomplished 4 1/2 of my 5 summer goals!!! If you scroll down you'll see where I posted them a few months ago.

1. Get a job and make money [check!]

-I work at Beachtowne USA on A1A and yeah it's pretty straight but this experience made me realize how thankful I need to be for my college education. I do NOT want to work retail the rest of my life...

2. Lose 15-20 pounds [check!]

-I started the diet called Isagenix a week before I went on that cruise in June and I have currently lost 16 pounds!!!!!!! I feel awesome and I still want to keep losing weight, I'll probably stop after I lose about 25 pounds.

3. Spend time with people I love [check!]

-After my Uncle Johnny died I realized how I regreted not getting to know him as well as I would have liked. This summer, working 4 nights a week and all, I don't get to do much else but spend time with my family and closest friends. I miss people from school soooo much. Ryan, Liz, Pastor Joiner to name a few...there are LOTS more, believe me!!! And I hate not getting to see Katie as much but we're gonna be roomies in just a few more weeks :) Now I'm dating Eli and I love him so much, he has been such a dear friend to me for a long time and now we've fallen in love and are trying to grow together and be a constant encouragement to one another. <3

4. Get a nice tan [check!]

-Hello. doesn't take me long to accomplish that one hahaha but I just spent the entire week at a beach condo my family has time-share at. I got to spend time with out of state family members and of course my crazy adorable grandparents. The fam. met Eli and loved him so I can't ask for more haha.

5. Read 3 books [---]

-So I've only read one of the three books I hope to read this summer, and I still have a little less than a month to accomplish it! I read "And Then There Were None" by Agatha Christie; it's a murder mystery and of course it was very entertaining. Right now I'm reading "Wicked" which is basically the story of Wizard of Oz but from the witch's point of view. It's actually a slow book right now, I hope it gets more interesting. I'm only on page like 60 though. And lastly I hope to read Picture of Dorian Gray (sp?). Ryan lent it to me for the summer and said it's one of his favorites so I know it has to be good.

sooooooo that's pretty much it. I move back to Tampa August 20th and it's only getting harder for me to be content here for the last few weeks I'm home. Alright, until next time :)

BYE

Today is a gooood day

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

I start tomorrow...it's at a beach shop on A1A. It's a pretty laid back place which is great and I'll be working about 20 hours a week. ahhhhghasdlfij.

Also, cruise to the bahamas was awesome!

& I let him call me baby, I don't even know his last name!

I hate country music for the most part, but I LOVE Carrie Underwood. She's so cute and I actually like her voice and her music. Ahhh yes. Well I have no job, still...and things aren't looking up at all surprise surprise...whatever. I just hate how businesses say they'll call back and never do--good job, real professional ;)

I feel bad complaining though because it's not like I'm in dire need of a job. I feel bad for familes who don't have alot and the bread-winners of their family are getting laid off...it's real sad. I would love to move out of the states, honestly. I'm sick of the sucky economy and the ungrateful rich people. I would love to go somewhere else and live there instead. Maybe not permanently, I should go on a longer termed mission trip because I only got to be in Mexico for a week. SUCH a short amount of time, but it showed me that I have a passion for missions and I enjoyed that culture so much and I really do miss the people I met. I still get to talk to Lizbeth every now and then through email although it's been about 2 weeks since her last email.

What else....I watched "There Will Be Blood" yesterday and though Jon and Eli loved it, I did not. I wish I enjoyed it as much as they did I just...I don't know...it was very odd and I felt like there was no purpose. They explained after the movie the theme they got from the film and I hate it when I can't understand movies, I LOVE movies and tend to already read too much into themes and whatnot and I think it's a bit much if I don't even get the purpose of something. Maybe I'm just not as smart and philosophical. A movie I would like to watch again is "No Country For Old Men". AWESOME. It was so intense and though it's a movie you have to really pay close attention to the dialogue and stuff, it makes alot of sense and I enjoyed it.

I guess I have nothing else to talk about...goodnight!

<3

All We Are

"I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit

I figured there's nothing to lose

I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down

You're an island and my ship has run aground

Lord knows I'll fail you time and again, But you and me we're alright"

~ All We Are, One Republic

I really love that song! I'm pretty sure I listen to it every time I drive somewhere. I absolutely love having my ipod and I love that I can play it in my car. Before I had it, I had to carry my CD's around everywhere and that's just a pain. Ohhhh technology...

Anyway, about the song I just quoted; it's by the same band who sings Apologize (another fav), and it seriously never gets old. They have a great sound and the lyrics are so relatable and poetic. Maybe it's just me...because there's not one thing on this earth that everybody will agree upon. Isn't that a crazy thought? People are so...weird! But yes, I think I talk alot. I know I do...and I can be loud sometimes. It's so hard for me to understand those who would rather be alone. I can't imagine having the desire to be a loner. Don't get me wrong, being alone is nice from time to time; normally though, I like being around someone. Okay it's 3:35am and I'm officially a loser :( I can't get a job so I need to find something to pass my entire summer days with. hahaha Wish me luck!

love love love

okay, bye.