I haven't blogged in over a month?
You see the depravity of the human heart in public places. You see it most in Wal-Mart. You scan item, after item, after item. Monotonous beeps continue to push you further into a coma where you hope to remain until your eight hour shift is over. Sometimes people are polite to you and you feel bad for not paying attention. It's people like that who remind you to stay on top of your game; do your job and treat people like they're human beings, not cattle. You smile and kindly say to the next person in line, "hello, hows it going?"
Of course the next customer is a foreigner who doesn't speak English and doesn't want to communicate anything with you, or you to them except their total. You slip, once more, into the abyss of day dreams, beeps fading into soft hums that you no longer hear.
You get embarrassed when your day dreams turn into memories of the stupid things you did in front of customers like combine greetings, "heyo," or even worse, when they're leaving, "have a great d---one" so it sounds like you said, "da-wone" (that's combining "day" and "one"). You also remember specific customers that you'd like to physically hurt because they were so rude. A memory of a father with his two kids comes to mind. He only has about 15 items, one of which was an expensive cheese that his food stamps don't cover. He says to just take it off and before you can put it aside, the old man behind your current customer says, "oh no, I'll get it." The father is bashful and says, "no, no, you don't have to do that," and the old man motions for you to hand him the block of cheese. The young father pushes his buggy and stands by the bagging section of your station and you ring up the old man. You hold onto the block of cheese wondering if you should just give it to the guy, or let the old man give it to him, but he doesn't say anything so you just put it in a bag by itself. He pays. He says "you too," when you tell him to have a good night, and he walks away, bag of cheese in hand. The father and his two kids stand awkwardly looking at you and then down at the floor. Then they walk away too.
You laugh sometimes thinking about it because it's just that uncomfortable of a situation that it seems like something you'd see on the Office. You feel bad about laughing though because that guy with his kids must have been really embarrassed after he realized he assumed the guy was going to buy the cheese for him.
You dread going to work, because if you're ever excited about it, you're GOING to have a bad day because the customers really suck. You know you're capable of more than dealing with ungrateful, spoiled people with their rotten children for hours. Your heart breaks for the people you see who are stuck there working the registers, for the rest of their lives.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Saving title for last
I don't know what I want to say, but I know I have something to write.
I know what you're up
to and again; feeling weights clunk my skull
side-ways, every way. Whispers
scratch at my window, and behind
the pane your face glows hot
red, a burning smirky face. The toothy smile
haunts me, and I don't close
the blinds. I clinch my knee caps
waiting for the burn and slice
my fingers through the glass
gripping your neck. I clench more.
I stifle you, pulling the drapes over
your body, never giving
you a good night kiss
I know what you're up
to and again; feeling weights clunk my skull
side-ways, every way. Whispers
scratch at my window, and behind
the pane your face glows hot
red, a burning smirky face. The toothy smile
haunts me, and I don't close
the blinds. I clinch my knee caps
waiting for the burn and slice
my fingers through the glass
gripping your neck. I clench more.
I stifle you, pulling the drapes over
your body, never giving
you a good night kiss
Friday, September 17, 2010
"is her blood my blood?" by yours truly
words balloon
from her mouth
bending my heart
in spite of lost
connection
ice center split not broken
my hands brush the rough
door framing her depths
her bicycling love unknown
to me
i desire to swim to know to thieve
"mother" i say over over and
over feeling my lips
pressed together
ending
with them parted
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
What's my username?
It's been an entire month since I've blogged.
I'm so all over the place these days. School started back up and it's driving me crazy already. I'm taking 3 online classes and one on campus. The one on campus kind of sucks...the professor is this old, horny lady who loves to point out sexual innuendos in every single poem and laugh about it and how it relates to her life and it's just gross. The three online aren't that bad except I forget about working on them because they're so laid back. Hopefully I'll get more focused, because if I don't, I could end up in some real trouble.
I've been going to yoga alot lately. I feel so awesome when I'm in the class...I feel like I used to feel when I danced, which I miss by the way. I feel flexible, graceful, powerful...things I haven't felt since 8th grade. Well, I felt powerful playing soccer but I wasn't really good at the sport so it was different. I even bought my own yoga mat because I didn't want to use the ones that USF provided.
We read this poem for my poetry class by John Donne called "The Relic". If you like poetry, you should check it out. It's morbid with amazing imagery.
Anyways, I'm going to get back to my studies and stuff.
goodnight!
I'm so all over the place these days. School started back up and it's driving me crazy already. I'm taking 3 online classes and one on campus. The one on campus kind of sucks...the professor is this old, horny lady who loves to point out sexual innuendos in every single poem and laugh about it and how it relates to her life and it's just gross. The three online aren't that bad except I forget about working on them because they're so laid back. Hopefully I'll get more focused, because if I don't, I could end up in some real trouble.
I've been going to yoga alot lately. I feel so awesome when I'm in the class...I feel like I used to feel when I danced, which I miss by the way. I feel flexible, graceful, powerful...things I haven't felt since 8th grade. Well, I felt powerful playing soccer but I wasn't really good at the sport so it was different. I even bought my own yoga mat because I didn't want to use the ones that USF provided.
We read this poem for my poetry class by John Donne called "The Relic". If you like poetry, you should check it out. It's morbid with amazing imagery.
Anyways, I'm going to get back to my studies and stuff.
goodnight!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
It's an Upset
It's that time of the year again...fall semester brings forth excitement for football games, and ridiculous expenses. I hate how much books cost, and tuition is so pricey it makes me sick. I'm so thankful that God provided my parents with the finances to pay for my Florida Pre-Paid when I was four years old because without it, I wouldn't be here.
Also, it's been kind of a rough week. Eli left to go back home to Ormond last Friday, so he's been gone for over a week now and it's really starting to wear on me. To make me feel better, some things I have been doing is hanging out with people I haven't been able to see much of this summer. My friend Nicole moved back to Tampa into her cute new apartment this week so Katie and I have been shopping and eating with her, both of which I love to do. I got these ADORABLE wall decorations from Target and I adore them. I feel like my room is complete :) I bought some artificial orange orchids to go in one of my many empty vases. One of the wall decorations is in a square frame and it has a gray background with white dandelions drawn on the gray, pillow-like picture. I can't really describe it in any other way. The other wall decoration is a tiny shadow box with a purple bird on a silver tree...once again, adorable.
If you know me at all, you know I love free stuff. Chipotle had this amazing deal for tax-free weekend and basically if you bought a meal from them on Tues. or Weds. of this past week, you could get a free meal either Friday, Sat, or Sunday. After working all day today, free Chipotle was VERY nice.
That's all I have to write about right now so until next time,
xo Rach
Also, it's been kind of a rough week. Eli left to go back home to Ormond last Friday, so he's been gone for over a week now and it's really starting to wear on me. To make me feel better, some things I have been doing is hanging out with people I haven't been able to see much of this summer. My friend Nicole moved back to Tampa into her cute new apartment this week so Katie and I have been shopping and eating with her, both of which I love to do. I got these ADORABLE wall decorations from Target and I adore them. I feel like my room is complete :) I bought some artificial orange orchids to go in one of my many empty vases. One of the wall decorations is in a square frame and it has a gray background with white dandelions drawn on the gray, pillow-like picture. I can't really describe it in any other way. The other wall decoration is a tiny shadow box with a purple bird on a silver tree...once again, adorable.
If you know me at all, you know I love free stuff. Chipotle had this amazing deal for tax-free weekend and basically if you bought a meal from them on Tues. or Weds. of this past week, you could get a free meal either Friday, Sat, or Sunday. After working all day today, free Chipotle was VERY nice.
That's all I have to write about right now so until next time,
xo Rach
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Sounds, they make me feel....
The new Chrysler commercial made me want to watch an old movie. It had the classical piano going on in the background and it had a beautiful landscape view of a huge oak tree and children running around in the field. I now want to watch something like "Emma", or "Pride and Prejudice".
This is a short entry.
<3 rach
This is a short entry.
<3 rach
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
"Plenitude"
I wrote out most of this blog only to have it erased by stupid facebook chat interrupting...THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS HAVE IT OFF. Does anyone know why (or how) it can stop me in mid type to address that someone facebook chatted me even when I'm in a different window? I don't like that.
I'd like to post a poem that I like alot. It's called "Plenitude" and was written by Paul Guest. We read his book, "Notes for My Body Double" in my poetry class and this poem was my favorite out of the whole book, if I remember correctly.
Here it is,
"That boy in the snowy late light\
midnight TV gives the skin, blue then\
dark blue, is me. With my mind\
shaped like a finger, I point\
him out. This is before he will point\
a borrowed bike downhill\
and touch me in return. This, too, is before\
rushing home in rain, through\
woods, stopping in a clearing of clouds\
and canopy to note moon\
like milk on my skin, in the water white\
and pebbled, for the first time\
in my life. I called it home, the apartment\
we would love in after class\
and there she waited while I drowned\
in my clothes, in that light\
bouncing earthward from the sun a world\
away. This is before I fell.\
This is before I swallowed back\
a new species of emotion\
I'd never known to live within\
my chest, before I said\
not a word to her that suggested I might\
go away and go unmissed.\
This is before I fled. This is before\
I hung in the elevator's throat\
and waited for the world\
to catch back up, for the world to spit back\
lost time. This is before\
I lost a friend to the vacuum of his blood,\
the blown veins leading\
back to his heart. This is before\
I loved three times. This is before\
I feared all day to lose\
the last, my heart pulsing like a lead cloud.\
This is before. Curled\
and in a clot, before long he'll sleep.\
He'll rehearse another\
life. All night long I wait and I watch.\
One by one I write down\
what he dreams."
**editor/writer's note: the backslashes [ \ ] are where the line breaks are in the poem. Unfortunately, my margins for the blog are too small for it to occur naturally when I space in between.**
Awesome. I love the sense of loss and nostalgia in this poem, and the images are to die for. My favorite line is, "I hung in the elevator's throat". I have that line underlined in my book actually. Anyways, if you like that poem at all, you should check out Paul Guest's book...the rest of it is just as rich.
<3 rach
I'd like to post a poem that I like alot. It's called "Plenitude" and was written by Paul Guest. We read his book, "Notes for My Body Double" in my poetry class and this poem was my favorite out of the whole book, if I remember correctly.
Here it is,
"That boy in the snowy late light\
midnight TV gives the skin, blue then\
dark blue, is me. With my mind\
shaped like a finger, I point\
him out. This is before he will point\
a borrowed bike downhill\
and touch me in return. This, too, is before\
rushing home in rain, through\
woods, stopping in a clearing of clouds\
and canopy to note moon\
like milk on my skin, in the water white\
and pebbled, for the first time\
in my life. I called it home, the apartment\
we would love in after class\
and there she waited while I drowned\
in my clothes, in that light\
bouncing earthward from the sun a world\
away. This is before I fell.\
This is before I swallowed back\
a new species of emotion\
I'd never known to live within\
my chest, before I said\
not a word to her that suggested I might\
go away and go unmissed.\
This is before I fled. This is before\
I hung in the elevator's throat\
and waited for the world\
to catch back up, for the world to spit back\
lost time. This is before\
I lost a friend to the vacuum of his blood,\
the blown veins leading\
back to his heart. This is before\
I loved three times. This is before\
I feared all day to lose\
the last, my heart pulsing like a lead cloud.\
This is before. Curled\
and in a clot, before long he'll sleep.\
He'll rehearse another\
life. All night long I wait and I watch.\
One by one I write down\
what he dreams."
**editor/writer's note: the backslashes [ \ ] are where the line breaks are in the poem. Unfortunately, my margins for the blog are too small for it to occur naturally when I space in between.**
Awesome. I love the sense of loss and nostalgia in this poem, and the images are to die for. My favorite line is, "I hung in the elevator's throat". I have that line underlined in my book actually. Anyways, if you like that poem at all, you should check out Paul Guest's book...the rest of it is just as rich.
<3 rach
Monday, August 2, 2010
Mr. Empanada
Today was an exceptional Monday. I woke up late, always a great feeling...met up with Jeff Lee at Panera and had a pleasant chat about RUF coming up this fall. I'm so excited about this semester. My one concern is the amount of hours I'll be working and if they'll give me any of the days off I ask for when it comes to RUF events. I feel like I have the rest of my life to work, but only two semesters of RUF left.
After that, Eli and I went to Mr. Empanada and ate a late lunch/dinner. No, I'm not a piggy. I actually didn't get anything from Panera when I was there, so I was legitimately hungry at 3pm when we went to get our delicious empanada's. I ordered the beef and cheese and then the guava with cream cheese...mmmmm. I'm afraid that the business won't be around for long though because I never see anybody in there and they're getting stingier on their meal deals (so they probably can't afford to give us good deals anymore).
One a completely different topic of my choosing, I look like a burn victim as of late. I don't know what the heck is going on with my skin, but the skin around the inside of my elbows is drastically lighter than the rest of my arms and it looks like I was severely burned there or something but I definitely wasn't...I look weird and I found this cool sparkle make-up stuff that covers it well but I don't know why it's happening.
Another random topic: I really hate complainers. I vent....a lot. But some people only find the negative things to talk about and it gets on my nerves, especially when these people are Christians. DO YOU REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR??? I catch myself often getting upset about my work schedule at Wal-Mart, but hello Rachel, you were begging for God to provide you with work just over 3 months ago. So right now, I think you and I both should think about how God has provided for us, continually...even in ways that we didn't see coming.
I am now going to hit the hay and wake up for an awesome 8 hour shift tomorrow.
:)
<3 rach
After that, Eli and I went to Mr. Empanada and ate a late lunch/dinner. No, I'm not a piggy. I actually didn't get anything from Panera when I was there, so I was legitimately hungry at 3pm when we went to get our delicious empanada's. I ordered the beef and cheese and then the guava with cream cheese...mmmmm. I'm afraid that the business won't be around for long though because I never see anybody in there and they're getting stingier on their meal deals (so they probably can't afford to give us good deals anymore).
One a completely different topic of my choosing, I look like a burn victim as of late. I don't know what the heck is going on with my skin, but the skin around the inside of my elbows is drastically lighter than the rest of my arms and it looks like I was severely burned there or something but I definitely wasn't...I look weird and I found this cool sparkle make-up stuff that covers it well but I don't know why it's happening.
Another random topic: I really hate complainers. I vent....a lot. But some people only find the negative things to talk about and it gets on my nerves, especially when these people are Christians. DO YOU REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR??? I catch myself often getting upset about my work schedule at Wal-Mart, but hello Rachel, you were begging for God to provide you with work just over 3 months ago. So right now, I think you and I both should think about how God has provided for us, continually...even in ways that we didn't see coming.
I am now going to hit the hay and wake up for an awesome 8 hour shift tomorrow.
:)
<3 rach
Friday, July 30, 2010
Holic.
I love that while I'm always working, or at least it feels like it, I have time to do fun things. Last night Eli and I drove to Orlando to see some of our friends play in their new band. It was their very first show so it's cool that we got to go see them. We ended up eating out at Steak N Shake and I don't know if I'll ever eat there again. My burger was so unbelievably greasy. The grease dripped from the patty onto my plate and after congealing to the plate and to the far from fresh lettuce I picked off my burger, it hardened. I stared at it for a while and I thought about it running through and sticking to my arteries. Today, I stuck to fruits and a salad for lunch and for dinner I cooked my own chicken and some rice. I feel better already, actually.
I feel that I have a problem that I'd like to address. I feel that it's a serious issue.
I LOVE SHOPPING TOO MUCH.
Okay, okay so this isn't really a serious issue, except that our economy is flopping and I can't stop thinking about buying cute little candles or movies, or lamps. THINGS I DON'T NEED!
Thank goodness the Lord is somehow keeping me from buying all of these things right now, but it's still a temptation. I think Stacy giving me the table, chair and soon rug, it's holding me off for now. I think I just love decorating and buying new things to fill the apartment.
I am also currently obsessed with pretzel M&M's. Have you tried them yet? You need to. Eli and I ate most of them while at the movie theater the other night.
What do you guys think of my new background? I'm not absolutely crazy about it like I was my other one with the adorable pink flowers around both sides...but apparently the site I was using didn't realize that some of their backgrounds weren't permanent on photobucket.com.
I'm done blogging for the night because HGTV is on ;)
<3rach
I feel that I have a problem that I'd like to address. I feel that it's a serious issue.
I LOVE SHOPPING TOO MUCH.
Okay, okay so this isn't really a serious issue, except that our economy is flopping and I can't stop thinking about buying cute little candles or movies, or lamps. THINGS I DON'T NEED!
Thank goodness the Lord is somehow keeping me from buying all of these things right now, but it's still a temptation. I think Stacy giving me the table, chair and soon rug, it's holding me off for now. I think I just love decorating and buying new things to fill the apartment.
I am also currently obsessed with pretzel M&M's. Have you tried them yet? You need to. Eli and I ate most of them while at the movie theater the other night.
What do you guys think of my new background? I'm not absolutely crazy about it like I was my other one with the adorable pink flowers around both sides...but apparently the site I was using didn't realize that some of their backgrounds weren't permanent on photobucket.com.
I'm done blogging for the night because HGTV is on ;)
<3rach
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Free Stuff!
God is so good.
I'm not *loving* being a cashier at Wal-Mart, but I do however love the money in the bank. Just when I wasn't sure if I was even going to be able to come back to USF due to financial reasons, both my mom and I got jobs and my dad's work as a stock-broker picked back up and I believe that God wanted us to look only to Him to provide the means of making money. I stopped relying on my good grades and my own "good" character and got on my knees and begged for a way to help my family out and He did. I'm so grateful and I don't want to lose sight of that. I have to think about this often because of how customers treat me on a regular basis. Basically, I'm treated like a piece of crap. It's humbling to just look people in the eye after they're rude to you when you've done NOTHING wrong and then apologize to THEM for it. I don't plan on working here for a long period of time or anything, but while I'm working here I don't want to make the experience meaningless. I was desperate for the work and HE provided, and along with that, He's testing my patience and I'm having to humble myself every day in ways I never thought I'd put up with.
Another note: I love free stuff. Stacy is moving into her new apartment and she is giving away some furniture. She gave me her black IKEA table and it's sooo adorable in our place! She also generously gave me her chair and will be giving me the matching rug for the living room. It's nice to have grown-up friends ;)
I'm pretty tried right now but I wanted to write because I haven't in a while. Until next time when I have the energy and will power---
<3 rach
I'm not *loving* being a cashier at Wal-Mart, but I do however love the money in the bank. Just when I wasn't sure if I was even going to be able to come back to USF due to financial reasons, both my mom and I got jobs and my dad's work as a stock-broker picked back up and I believe that God wanted us to look only to Him to provide the means of making money. I stopped relying on my good grades and my own "good" character and got on my knees and begged for a way to help my family out and He did. I'm so grateful and I don't want to lose sight of that. I have to think about this often because of how customers treat me on a regular basis. Basically, I'm treated like a piece of crap. It's humbling to just look people in the eye after they're rude to you when you've done NOTHING wrong and then apologize to THEM for it. I don't plan on working here for a long period of time or anything, but while I'm working here I don't want to make the experience meaningless. I was desperate for the work and HE provided, and along with that, He's testing my patience and I'm having to humble myself every day in ways I never thought I'd put up with.
Another note: I love free stuff. Stacy is moving into her new apartment and she is giving away some furniture. She gave me her black IKEA table and it's sooo adorable in our place! She also generously gave me her chair and will be giving me the matching rug for the living room. It's nice to have grown-up friends ;)
I'm pretty tried right now but I wanted to write because I haven't in a while. Until next time when I have the energy and will power---
<3 rach
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Awake and Functioning
I am proud to say that I am still able to wake up at 5am and function.
I knew last night that it would be an early morning, but I didn't fall asleep until close to midnight. I had to take a friend I know from my home church, Riverbend, to the Tampa International Airport. Her flight left before 7am so we knew we'd have to leave my apt. by at least 5:15 if we wanted to miss traffic and get here there an hour before her flight left. She arrived at my place a little after 5:15am actually but we still made it there in GREAT time. This morning seems like a dream. The air was cool and damp, the sky was black and there were no stars. Surprisingly, there were many cars on the road, especially the closer we got to the airport. I don't know what it is, but though I'm terrified of flying, I always feel a rush of adrenaline when I'm around the airport. There's hundreds of people, bustling about going in a myriad of different directions for different types of trips. Some are getting to see loved ones on the other side of the flight, some just for business, and others are coming home. Flying is a strange thing. I was excited as I was driving and a little sad that I didn't get to fly with my friend. I don't know her well AT ALL, but I was envious of the adventure.
Dropping her off was quick and painless, though the traffic was heavy getting back on the Interstate. The sky was now navy blue with streaks of dark green. I love how different the sky looks on the west coast compared to the east. A sunrise on the east coast is so much more dramatic than on the west, but the west is much more subtle and I enjoyed it. I blared the radio as I was becoming more awake and alert and I wanted something to listen to. The talkative, obnoxious men on the alternative rock radio station were funny and enjoyable to listen to for a change. I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment and sat in my car for a minute or two before climbing 3 flights of stairs. I liked waking up that early. I contemplated what it would be like if I woke up that early every morning for fun. What if I drove to the airport ritually and watched the people racing in and out of the electronic doors, and the valets smoothly removing baggage from cars to the pavement that created the click click of the suitcases? What if I parked my car in the drop off area and rolled the windows down, and dozed off to the acoustics of people talking and cars humming under the concrete overpasses?
I guess I would be weird.
I knew last night that it would be an early morning, but I didn't fall asleep until close to midnight. I had to take a friend I know from my home church, Riverbend, to the Tampa International Airport. Her flight left before 7am so we knew we'd have to leave my apt. by at least 5:15 if we wanted to miss traffic and get here there an hour before her flight left. She arrived at my place a little after 5:15am actually but we still made it there in GREAT time. This morning seems like a dream. The air was cool and damp, the sky was black and there were no stars. Surprisingly, there were many cars on the road, especially the closer we got to the airport. I don't know what it is, but though I'm terrified of flying, I always feel a rush of adrenaline when I'm around the airport. There's hundreds of people, bustling about going in a myriad of different directions for different types of trips. Some are getting to see loved ones on the other side of the flight, some just for business, and others are coming home. Flying is a strange thing. I was excited as I was driving and a little sad that I didn't get to fly with my friend. I don't know her well AT ALL, but I was envious of the adventure.
Dropping her off was quick and painless, though the traffic was heavy getting back on the Interstate. The sky was now navy blue with streaks of dark green. I love how different the sky looks on the west coast compared to the east. A sunrise on the east coast is so much more dramatic than on the west, but the west is much more subtle and I enjoyed it. I blared the radio as I was becoming more awake and alert and I wanted something to listen to. The talkative, obnoxious men on the alternative rock radio station were funny and enjoyable to listen to for a change. I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment and sat in my car for a minute or two before climbing 3 flights of stairs. I liked waking up that early. I contemplated what it would be like if I woke up that early every morning for fun. What if I drove to the airport ritually and watched the people racing in and out of the electronic doors, and the valets smoothly removing baggage from cars to the pavement that created the click click of the suitcases? What if I parked my car in the drop off area and rolled the windows down, and dozed off to the acoustics of people talking and cars humming under the concrete overpasses?
I guess I would be weird.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
New Blog Title
Yes, I'm blogging twice in one day; WATCH OUT! I felt it was important to change my title because every time I would sign on, I got annoyed with it. My new title is called, "Quest for Words" because as a creative writer, I feel I'm constantly searching for the right words, the most inspiring words, the most creative words. The sub title is self-explanatory...I'm constantly battling my own imagination.
Found my new background at hotbliggityblog.com, check it out if you see something you like!
<3
Found my new background at hotbliggityblog.com, check it out if you see something you like!
<3
Cinnamon and Scrabble
Time passes quickly like the hours that seem like moments that you get to sleep before a day you dread to wake up to. I sit alone in my apartment, nostalgic, remembering what it was like a year ago living with my parents while working at a preschool just as a summer job. I celebrated my one year anniversary with Eli, rejoiced at being 20 and I enjoyed spending time with my sisters. I celebrated my two year anniversary with Eli a few weeks ago, and I allowed the Fourth of July to pass me by without thanking God for my country and freedom. I worked that night, jealous of everyone who wasn't stuck inside, but laughing when the rain wouldn't stop. I watch the little kids with their parents, some cute, some really annoying that I wish I could smack. Sometimes when parents are polite enough to apologize for their screaming child who keeps spinning my wheel of bags around before I can put their groceries inside that I used to work at a preschool, and I understood. I don't understand though, I'm not in their shoes. I think that we try to empathize with people by the closest experience we have to that situation so that they feel like they're not the only ones, or maybe we do it so we feel we have experience. Truth is we don't know how to really empathize with people because every situation is different. Nothing truly happens twice because we're all different people.
Last night a friend told me to "quit technology" so I could write more. I'm considering it. I grabbed an orange composition notebook I bought 2 years ago to be my journal for french 1. I reread all the entries and laughed at how simple my grammar was, and at that time I was so proud of my 2 sentences per entry. They were entries like, "Je m'appelle Rachel. Je suis fatigue". Translation: My name is Rachel. I am tired. "Mon prof est tres stupid et gros." Translation: My teacher is very stupid and fat. During that semester, 2 years ago this fall, I was living in a dorm on campus and I had just met Jamie and Natasha. God really knew what He was doing by placing Jamie in my life. I was still a mass communications major and I was really happy with the way I looked. Though I didn't write about my life in this orange composition notebook, I felt it was appropriate to use because it's a diverse piece of material. For one, it's orange. Secondly, the first 10 pages are just little sentences I put together for a french journal and its funny. Lastly, I hate wasting paper and I've never filled out an entire notebook before.
I like writing online, it's alot faster for me to write, but I think that having a notebook to carry around with me would not only be good in the case that I became inspired and just happened to have it at hand, I think it would make me look artsy and intellectual if I walked around constantly with something to write with. Isn't it funny how much we care about appearance?
Last night a friend told me to "quit technology" so I could write more. I'm considering it. I grabbed an orange composition notebook I bought 2 years ago to be my journal for french 1. I reread all the entries and laughed at how simple my grammar was, and at that time I was so proud of my 2 sentences per entry. They were entries like, "Je m'appelle Rachel. Je suis fatigue". Translation: My name is Rachel. I am tired. "Mon prof est tres stupid et gros." Translation: My teacher is very stupid and fat. During that semester, 2 years ago this fall, I was living in a dorm on campus and I had just met Jamie and Natasha. God really knew what He was doing by placing Jamie in my life. I was still a mass communications major and I was really happy with the way I looked. Though I didn't write about my life in this orange composition notebook, I felt it was appropriate to use because it's a diverse piece of material. For one, it's orange. Secondly, the first 10 pages are just little sentences I put together for a french journal and its funny. Lastly, I hate wasting paper and I've never filled out an entire notebook before.
I like writing online, it's alot faster for me to write, but I think that having a notebook to carry around with me would not only be good in the case that I became inspired and just happened to have it at hand, I think it would make me look artsy and intellectual if I walked around constantly with something to write with. Isn't it funny how much we care about appearance?
Friday, July 2, 2010
Being a Muggle Sucks
Time and time again. I'm sick of the American standard of beauty...and I'm sick of seeing half-naked women wherever I go, and 3/4 naked women all over the internet...on FACEBOOK. I swear I need to delete half the girls on my friends list.
I miss writing. Not blogging, even though this is fun too.
I wish my life were epic like the battle song in the new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows trailer. I also wish Hogwarts was real.
I told myself I was going to bed before 1:30 and it's an hour later and I'm awake because I'm sad and scared. Maybe I don't have a reason to be though. I know God's got it all planned out for me but when I can't see, when I can't know certainty, I fear.
this is RANDOMMMMMM because I'm tired and felt like blogging since it's no longer June, but July. Holy cow.
night.
I miss writing. Not blogging, even though this is fun too.
I wish my life were epic like the battle song in the new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows trailer. I also wish Hogwarts was real.
I told myself I was going to bed before 1:30 and it's an hour later and I'm awake because I'm sad and scared. Maybe I don't have a reason to be though. I know God's got it all planned out for me but when I can't see, when I can't know certainty, I fear.
this is RANDOMMMMMM because I'm tired and felt like blogging since it's no longer June, but July. Holy cow.
night.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Recommendations/Advice
1. Everyone should read the Twilight series JUST so they can read the parody written by the Harvard Lampoon, "Nightlight". It's absolutely hysterical! I was in my doctors office the other day reading it and I started laughing out loud...it was the lady doctor so it was probably really weird for someone walking by the room I was in if they could hear me giggling.
2. If you work at Wal-Mart, try not to get the later shifts. It gets quiet for long periods of time and there's NOTHING to do but walk around your station trying to organize the gum. Then, once you're off and you have your own grocery shopping to do, there's HUGE lines so it takes 3 hours to get home once you clock out.
3. "Book of Eli" is one of the best movies I've seen in 2010. Watch it.
4. Go to Target for the CUTEST picture frames in the world. I always walk down that aisle just to look at what they're coming up with...someday soon I want to get this silver/green one that you can put 5 pictures in. It's like 30 dollars though :(
5. Before you take a nap in the middle of the day (I have to in order to function at work), clean your room before falling asleep. I'm sitting here now with a messy room wondering why I didn't clean it earlier but I'm now too tired to do anything about it.
6. This isn't a recommendation, but I've been watching the Bachelorette and I really want Roberto to win. He's so handsome and nice!
7. When you shop at Wal-Mart, don't be THAT customer that puts every single heavy item on the belt. As a cashier, I can say I LOVE it when customers leave the heavy stuff in the cart. I will gladly walk around the register to scan the items. I would rather walk 2 feet than pinch a nerve in my neck lifting thousands of 24 packs of coke in 8 hours. THANKS.
8. Also, if you're going to be picky about how you want your items bagged, do a better freaking job at organizing them on the belt. Ex. if you want your cans all together, put them on the belt at the same time. Don't put 2 cans here, then some cheese and milk, then another can, then your tampons, then 10 cans of beans, then some eggs....it's really annoying.
9. Wal-Mart advice cont'd., don't get pissy with your cashier if YOUR card doesn't work because its all scratched up.
10. Don't roll your eyes at the cashier if the line is taking forever to move. If the cashier is slow, it's because the customer is being picky. Ex. you scan all 100 items that they wanted to check out and they want to know the price of every thing they bought so the cashier prints out a slip, gives the customer the slip, and then they decide they don't want the first 5 things that you scanned...which is now at the bottom of the bag in the bag you bagged first, at the bottom of their cart. See where I'm going with this?
11. So You Think You Can Dance is really good this year. FOX every Wed/Thurs. night at 8. Check it out!
12. Read my blog regularly...I'm interesting.
13. DON'T ASSUME THAT I SPEAK SPANISH JUST BECAUSE I HAVE TAN SKIN. I had, literally, 20 people since I started working (2 1/2 weeks) start talking to me in spanish in a frantic tone, NOT EVEN ASKING if I spoke that language!!!!! One lady, after I explained that I didn't speak spanish, rolled her eyes and made a "pfff" sound. Seriously?
i'm tired. night!
2. If you work at Wal-Mart, try not to get the later shifts. It gets quiet for long periods of time and there's NOTHING to do but walk around your station trying to organize the gum. Then, once you're off and you have your own grocery shopping to do, there's HUGE lines so it takes 3 hours to get home once you clock out.
3. "Book of Eli" is one of the best movies I've seen in 2010. Watch it.
4. Go to Target for the CUTEST picture frames in the world. I always walk down that aisle just to look at what they're coming up with...someday soon I want to get this silver/green one that you can put 5 pictures in. It's like 30 dollars though :(
5. Before you take a nap in the middle of the day (I have to in order to function at work), clean your room before falling asleep. I'm sitting here now with a messy room wondering why I didn't clean it earlier but I'm now too tired to do anything about it.
6. This isn't a recommendation, but I've been watching the Bachelorette and I really want Roberto to win. He's so handsome and nice!
7. When you shop at Wal-Mart, don't be THAT customer that puts every single heavy item on the belt. As a cashier, I can say I LOVE it when customers leave the heavy stuff in the cart. I will gladly walk around the register to scan the items. I would rather walk 2 feet than pinch a nerve in my neck lifting thousands of 24 packs of coke in 8 hours. THANKS.
8. Also, if you're going to be picky about how you want your items bagged, do a better freaking job at organizing them on the belt. Ex. if you want your cans all together, put them on the belt at the same time. Don't put 2 cans here, then some cheese and milk, then another can, then your tampons, then 10 cans of beans, then some eggs....it's really annoying.
9. Wal-Mart advice cont'd., don't get pissy with your cashier if YOUR card doesn't work because its all scratched up.
10. Don't roll your eyes at the cashier if the line is taking forever to move. If the cashier is slow, it's because the customer is being picky. Ex. you scan all 100 items that they wanted to check out and they want to know the price of every thing they bought so the cashier prints out a slip, gives the customer the slip, and then they decide they don't want the first 5 things that you scanned...which is now at the bottom of the bag in the bag you bagged first, at the bottom of their cart. See where I'm going with this?
11. So You Think You Can Dance is really good this year. FOX every Wed/Thurs. night at 8. Check it out!
12. Read my blog regularly...I'm interesting.
13. DON'T ASSUME THAT I SPEAK SPANISH JUST BECAUSE I HAVE TAN SKIN. I had, literally, 20 people since I started working (2 1/2 weeks) start talking to me in spanish in a frantic tone, NOT EVEN ASKING if I spoke that language!!!!! One lady, after I explained that I didn't speak spanish, rolled her eyes and made a "pfff" sound. Seriously?
i'm tired. night!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
C'est terrible!
I just killed about 8 wasps that were getting a little too comfortable on my porch. It was such an adrenaline rush! I think they're such scary bugs. I was stung by one once when I was a little kid and I remember my entire finger swelled up. Haven't been stung since and Lord willing, I never will again!
Now that I'm a working woman ;) I haven't been blogging. I hate that! I'm supposed to be writing my midterm paper for my lit class that will be over in about 2 weeks, but I've only blogged once so far this month and I thought it was important to write a little something.
This past week I've realized just how spoiled I've been my whole life. I've had summer jobs before but they were never huge companies where I was meeting 10 new people every day. Wal-Mart is HUGE and honestly, I'm enjoying my time there. I doubt I'll be a cashier my whole life but I'm learning alot about an honest day of hard work. I worked a 9 hour shift yesterday and when I woke up this morning I could barely move. I was on my feet from 11-8pm and though it went fast, it really wore me out. There are so many people I work with now that are mid-aged, and older, and they're there every day working hard to make a living. Not only are the people there working hard, but they're nice too. There's over 400 employees and every single person that I've come in contact has either 1. acknowledged that I was new and welcomed me to "the family" or at least 2. smiled and greeted me. It's awesome! I never thought I'd be this happy about being a cashier. I know I'm going to have days where I'll say I hate it. But I feel much better now that I have a job and I'm actually working for it.
While working 30+ hours a week, I'm also taking 2 classes. I really feel for all the people I've known at USF who went to school full time and worked too. I don't know what I'm going to do come fall but as of right now, I'm registered for 4 classes.
Speaking of classes, that essay isn't getting any longer by me writing on here.
Au revoir.
<3
Now that I'm a working woman ;) I haven't been blogging. I hate that! I'm supposed to be writing my midterm paper for my lit class that will be over in about 2 weeks, but I've only blogged once so far this month and I thought it was important to write a little something.
This past week I've realized just how spoiled I've been my whole life. I've had summer jobs before but they were never huge companies where I was meeting 10 new people every day. Wal-Mart is HUGE and honestly, I'm enjoying my time there. I doubt I'll be a cashier my whole life but I'm learning alot about an honest day of hard work. I worked a 9 hour shift yesterday and when I woke up this morning I could barely move. I was on my feet from 11-8pm and though it went fast, it really wore me out. There are so many people I work with now that are mid-aged, and older, and they're there every day working hard to make a living. Not only are the people there working hard, but they're nice too. There's over 400 employees and every single person that I've come in contact has either 1. acknowledged that I was new and welcomed me to "the family" or at least 2. smiled and greeted me. It's awesome! I never thought I'd be this happy about being a cashier. I know I'm going to have days where I'll say I hate it. But I feel much better now that I have a job and I'm actually working for it.
While working 30+ hours a week, I'm also taking 2 classes. I really feel for all the people I've known at USF who went to school full time and worked too. I don't know what I'm going to do come fall but as of right now, I'm registered for 4 classes.
Speaking of classes, that essay isn't getting any longer by me writing on here.
Au revoir.
<3
Friday, June 4, 2010
Success
I've been dying to blog for days and days but I didn't because I hadn't really read any more of Wuthering Heights. I mean, a few chapters but not enough to really write anything about it.
In my last blog I talked about a short story I had to read and what I thought it was about...yeah. TOTALLY didn't get that they were talking about virgins losing their virginity. That part seemed to fly right over my head haha. Not complaining though, it was kind of graphic once it was all explained in class.
I just want to say, my room is SO clean right now. A clean room is the pallet for a clean mind. This may sound corny, but it is. I cleaned my room last night because I felt like I couldn't breathe in my own room. Once I did, I had more energy and I slept better.
This morning I woke up early and had to go to the Occupational Heath Center for drug screening. Why? BECAUSE I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Praise be to GOD because I was truly giving up hope of finding once since I've been looking since spring break. I'm going to be a cashier at Wal-Mart on Bruce B. Downs. It's located in New Tampa, and it's a super Wal-Mart. I would never work at the one closest to my apartment because it's not even safe to go there during the day. Multiple times I've been there in the afternoon and people have walked up to me asking me for money, or I felt like people were roaming around the parking lot aimlessly. I avoid the Fletcher Wal-Mart at all costs.
So when I went to the drug test, I knew I had to pee in a cup. I was dreading it all last night before I fell asleep...it's always something I've hated doing when I've had to do it. I have a shy bladder. I ended up being there for over an hour because I couldn't go on my first attempt, even though I hadn't peed since I got up this morning on purpose because I knew I had to go when I got there. After alot of waiting and drinking their water, I finally did it (go me!).
That's all I have to say for now. Screw Wuthering Heights...I'll read it eventually. I've missed blogging too much to punish myself that way!
night! <3
In my last blog I talked about a short story I had to read and what I thought it was about...yeah. TOTALLY didn't get that they were talking about virgins losing their virginity. That part seemed to fly right over my head haha. Not complaining though, it was kind of graphic once it was all explained in class.
I just want to say, my room is SO clean right now. A clean room is the pallet for a clean mind. This may sound corny, but it is. I cleaned my room last night because I felt like I couldn't breathe in my own room. Once I did, I had more energy and I slept better.
This morning I woke up early and had to go to the Occupational Heath Center for drug screening. Why? BECAUSE I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Praise be to GOD because I was truly giving up hope of finding once since I've been looking since spring break. I'm going to be a cashier at Wal-Mart on Bruce B. Downs. It's located in New Tampa, and it's a super Wal-Mart. I would never work at the one closest to my apartment because it's not even safe to go there during the day. Multiple times I've been there in the afternoon and people have walked up to me asking me for money, or I felt like people were roaming around the parking lot aimlessly. I avoid the Fletcher Wal-Mart at all costs.
So when I went to the drug test, I knew I had to pee in a cup. I was dreading it all last night before I fell asleep...it's always something I've hated doing when I've had to do it. I have a shy bladder. I ended up being there for over an hour because I couldn't go on my first attempt, even though I hadn't peed since I got up this morning on purpose because I knew I had to go when I got there. After alot of waiting and drinking their water, I finally did it (go me!).
That's all I have to say for now. Screw Wuthering Heights...I'll read it eventually. I've missed blogging too much to punish myself that way!
night! <3
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Blank Page
100TH POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's really astonishing is that it took me exactly two years to write 100 of these. I wasn't diligent in my blogging until November '09, so all things considered, I'm not doing too poorly :)
I'm taking 2 summer classes and even though I don't like it, Summer courses have begun already. My Twentieth Century Lit. class is going to be ridiculous. I'm thankful that it's only 6 weeks but the amount of reading is absurd. I read a short story called, "The Blank Page" by Isak Dinesen. I was under the impression that Dinesen was a man because I figured "Isak" was like "Issac," just spelled differently. Anywho, she is a female author and upon reading "The Blank Page" for the first time for my homework assignment, I can't say I'm a fan. The short story is indeed short, and I feel like the piece is ironic because it's about a blank page, yet there's words on the page talking about the necessity of it. I hope Dr. Pringle (haha, my professor), can explain how this work is important to Modernism and Modernity. I think the "blank page", or white space is a metaphor for something, though I can't be positive yet. I think it's about words unsaid and their effect upon a culture...which would trickle into themes of modernism like "individualism v. collectivism". This is a boring 100th blog, if I've ever read one.
I am still praying for a job. I appreciate all prayers from family and friends that I'd find one, because I am desperate.
Happy Note: I am dying to read "Wuthering Heights" this summer! It is currently sitting on top of my dresser which is next to my bed. I WILL read it, if it's the last thing I do this summer! I think my motivation is going to be, I can't blog unless I've read some of it and I have to talk about it in my blog. If I never blog again, you all will know why.
<3 rachel
What's really astonishing is that it took me exactly two years to write 100 of these. I wasn't diligent in my blogging until November '09, so all things considered, I'm not doing too poorly :)
I'm taking 2 summer classes and even though I don't like it, Summer courses have begun already. My Twentieth Century Lit. class is going to be ridiculous. I'm thankful that it's only 6 weeks but the amount of reading is absurd. I read a short story called, "The Blank Page" by Isak Dinesen. I was under the impression that Dinesen was a man because I figured "Isak" was like "Issac," just spelled differently. Anywho, she is a female author and upon reading "The Blank Page" for the first time for my homework assignment, I can't say I'm a fan. The short story is indeed short, and I feel like the piece is ironic because it's about a blank page, yet there's words on the page talking about the necessity of it. I hope Dr. Pringle (haha, my professor), can explain how this work is important to Modernism and Modernity. I think the "blank page", or white space is a metaphor for something, though I can't be positive yet. I think it's about words unsaid and their effect upon a culture...which would trickle into themes of modernism like "individualism v. collectivism". This is a boring 100th blog, if I've ever read one.
I am still praying for a job. I appreciate all prayers from family and friends that I'd find one, because I am desperate.
Happy Note: I am dying to read "Wuthering Heights" this summer! It is currently sitting on top of my dresser which is next to my bed. I WILL read it, if it's the last thing I do this summer! I think my motivation is going to be, I can't blog unless I've read some of it and I have to talk about it in my blog. If I never blog again, you all will know why.
<3 rachel
Friday, May 14, 2010
Summer Days
I finally returned to Tampa after spending some quality time at home. When I got back to the apartment, the first thing I did was assemble the bar stool my mom bought for me for my birthday. It's an Italian bar stool and it's gorgeous. I don't have a picture to upload yet, but please take my word: she's a beauty. I was literally sweating while putting it together. At one point I was straddling the legs of the chair trying to screw in the nails in and it was impossible to keep the circle foot rest part of the stool in place to put the nails through. I'm sure these details are more than you'd like to read about, but I'm so proud of it!
I have a feeling that this summer will be a good one. Danielle Unger is moving in this weekend and I never thought we'd be roommates. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better. I still need a job, but God is so good and He has provided my mother with a nursing job back home so that buys me some time to find one here in Tampa. Classes start on Monday and I don't know how I'm going to take these classes seriously...Spring semester JUST ENDED!
This is random, but on the way home from home yesterday (translation: on the way to Tampa from Ormond yesterday), I stopped at Chic-fil-a next to my apartment. Ordinarily when I ask for the honey-roasted bbq sauce, they give me maybe 2 packets. The guy at the window put 7 packets in my bag!!!!!! hahahahahaha I don't know what to do with this much sauce! Of course I'm saving it, but my goodness...what on earth was he doing putting that much into my bag?
Tonight's goal: fall asleep by 2am.
<3rach
I have a feeling that this summer will be a good one. Danielle Unger is moving in this weekend and I never thought we'd be roommates. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better. I still need a job, but God is so good and He has provided my mother with a nursing job back home so that buys me some time to find one here in Tampa. Classes start on Monday and I don't know how I'm going to take these classes seriously...Spring semester JUST ENDED!
This is random, but on the way home from home yesterday (translation: on the way to Tampa from Ormond yesterday), I stopped at Chic-fil-a next to my apartment. Ordinarily when I ask for the honey-roasted bbq sauce, they give me maybe 2 packets. The guy at the window put 7 packets in my bag!!!!!! hahahahahaha I don't know what to do with this much sauce! Of course I'm saving it, but my goodness...what on earth was he doing putting that much into my bag?
Tonight's goal: fall asleep by 2am.
<3rach
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Alone
Without Eli I feel really alone. I came home to surprise my Mom for Mother's Day and I'm so glad I did for a few reasons. First, I'm glad she was so happy to see me (that always feels good). But I don't think I could have been in Tampa without him for a whole week. I hate being apart!
I just wanted to blog real quick--I'm waiting for my parent's to get ready for church tonight. That's the only thing that's going to cheer me up, I think.
funny quote by Danielle (my sister): she dresses like a french hooker
hahahah! I liked the added "french" adjective.
I just wanted to blog real quick--I'm waiting for my parent's to get ready for church tonight. That's the only thing that's going to cheer me up, I think.
funny quote by Danielle (my sister): she dresses like a french hooker
hahahah! I liked the added "french" adjective.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
< ambiguous title >
I have a growing blister on the bottom of my left foot. My feet are always calloused over so this is pretty amazing that I have a blister on the BOTTOM of my foot...I don't know where I was going with this.
This is my first blog since I've turned 21. Heather and I's party was a hit! There were about 20 guests that met us at Chilis and I had a strawberry mango margarita. SO GOOD! I've been thinking about it every since (for 3 days now). It feels good to be 21 because I feel like it's the last big birthday I'm going to have besides 50, which is big because you're then halfway to 100! I got a little silly, but I honestly believe I was so happy because so many of my friends were able to come celebrate with me. The next day was Mother's Day. After church I decided it would be appropriate to drive back home to Ormond Beach, Fl. and surprise my mom. She was VERY surprised to say the least. She kept smacking my leg (in a non-abusive way) and kept saying, "awww".
So now, I'm still in Ormond Beach, spending time with my family. Eli left for a week-long road trip with his friends from high school that he grew up with. I think they'll have a good time---I'm just praying that God really protects them because when they get together, they have the tendency to be...adventurous. I'll probably go back to Tampa sometime on Wednesday because my roommate Sarah is moving out and my friend Dani is moving in for a few months. I think it'll be a good time. I don't know Dani very well yet, but we will be sharing a wall this summer so I think we'll know each other too well when it's all said and done haha!
Anywho, it is now 3:41am and I am still awake because I am a crazy person.
night!
<3rachel
This is my first blog since I've turned 21. Heather and I's party was a hit! There were about 20 guests that met us at Chilis and I had a strawberry mango margarita. SO GOOD! I've been thinking about it every since (for 3 days now). It feels good to be 21 because I feel like it's the last big birthday I'm going to have besides 50, which is big because you're then halfway to 100! I got a little silly, but I honestly believe I was so happy because so many of my friends were able to come celebrate with me. The next day was Mother's Day. After church I decided it would be appropriate to drive back home to Ormond Beach, Fl. and surprise my mom. She was VERY surprised to say the least. She kept smacking my leg (in a non-abusive way) and kept saying, "awww".
So now, I'm still in Ormond Beach, spending time with my family. Eli left for a week-long road trip with his friends from high school that he grew up with. I think they'll have a good time---I'm just praying that God really protects them because when they get together, they have the tendency to be...adventurous. I'll probably go back to Tampa sometime on Wednesday because my roommate Sarah is moving out and my friend Dani is moving in for a few months. I think it'll be a good time. I don't know Dani very well yet, but we will be sharing a wall this summer so I think we'll know each other too well when it's all said and done haha!
Anywho, it is now 3:41am and I am still awake because I am a crazy person.
night!
<3rachel
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Summer Prayer
I need a job.
I've said it over and over again and though I've been praying for one, for whatever reason, God hasn't put one out there for me to snag yet. I have an interview tomorrow so whoever reads this, please pray that either I get it or that God would provide me with one (especially now since I am OFFICIALLY done with school for the semester).
I'm also thankful for the group at Holy Trinity that I'm getting to know through the book study on Tim Keller's, "The Reason for God". It's not an "easy" read by any means, but it's simple enough. He writes in a way that makes me feel like he's just conversing about his ministry and what he's learned. It's really interesting.
This week after the book study, a group of us are having another "Settlers of Catan" party. I'm super excited, like the nerd I really am haha.
I'm also excited about turning 21. Heather Atha and I are having a joint party at Chilis (everyone's invited). It's at 6:30pm, Saturday May 8th. I already know what I'm going to order! and at midnight, since I know I'll be awake from the Catan party, I want to have a glass of the wine my dad bought me for my birthday. It's called "Riesling" and it's a German wine. Dad says that its pretty amazing and he thinks I'll love it. I hope he's right!
I just wanted to blog real quick about the job interview so those of you who read, can pray!
Thanks
<3 rach
I've said it over and over again and though I've been praying for one, for whatever reason, God hasn't put one out there for me to snag yet. I have an interview tomorrow so whoever reads this, please pray that either I get it or that God would provide me with one (especially now since I am OFFICIALLY done with school for the semester).
I'm also thankful for the group at Holy Trinity that I'm getting to know through the book study on Tim Keller's, "The Reason for God". It's not an "easy" read by any means, but it's simple enough. He writes in a way that makes me feel like he's just conversing about his ministry and what he's learned. It's really interesting.
This week after the book study, a group of us are having another "Settlers of Catan" party. I'm super excited, like the nerd I really am haha.
I'm also excited about turning 21. Heather Atha and I are having a joint party at Chilis (everyone's invited). It's at 6:30pm, Saturday May 8th. I already know what I'm going to order! and at midnight, since I know I'll be awake from the Catan party, I want to have a glass of the wine my dad bought me for my birthday. It's called "Riesling" and it's a German wine. Dad says that its pretty amazing and he thinks I'll love it. I hope he's right!
I just wanted to blog real quick about the job interview so those of you who read, can pray!
Thanks
<3 rach
Monday, May 3, 2010
May is Love
May is the best month of the year. I turn 21 in just 3 days! Also, everyone else is happy because most people who graduate in the spring graduate in May :)
Eli and I went to Taco Bell tonight for dinner and we had to wait in the drive-thru line for about 10-15 minutes. We were only the second car in line, but the mini-van in line ahead of us didn't know what they wanted and they had a van full of kids screaming in the back. The Taco Bell is actually a Pizza Hut too so you can order from either menu at the same window. They ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas then argued that they wanted the "kids" size pizzas and the poor teller was trying to explain that the personal pizzas were all one size. So then they wanted to cancel one of the pizzas and they wanted some bacon burrito? I couldn't hear everything over the engines of the other 5 cars behind ME wanting their food...and Eli was whining about the population being too retarded.
Needless to say, they pulled up to the window, retrieved their 4 bags of food, and then started to drive away without the large drink they ordered so they had to reverse and the driver didn't go back far enough and was reaching BACKWARDS for the giant fountain drink and almost dropped it. The best part was, I hadn't pulled up at all and he had the same amount of room to back up and take is drink in peace.
I like to think that the people in the van were just having a bad day.
Eli and I went to Taco Bell tonight for dinner and we had to wait in the drive-thru line for about 10-15 minutes. We were only the second car in line, but the mini-van in line ahead of us didn't know what they wanted and they had a van full of kids screaming in the back. The Taco Bell is actually a Pizza Hut too so you can order from either menu at the same window. They ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas then argued that they wanted the "kids" size pizzas and the poor teller was trying to explain that the personal pizzas were all one size. So then they wanted to cancel one of the pizzas and they wanted some bacon burrito? I couldn't hear everything over the engines of the other 5 cars behind ME wanting their food...and Eli was whining about the population being too retarded.
Needless to say, they pulled up to the window, retrieved their 4 bags of food, and then started to drive away without the large drink they ordered so they had to reverse and the driver didn't go back far enough and was reaching BACKWARDS for the giant fountain drink and almost dropped it. The best part was, I hadn't pulled up at all and he had the same amount of room to back up and take is drink in peace.
I like to think that the people in the van were just having a bad day.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
gonna keep on tryin' til i reach the highest ground
Today is April 29th, which means Eli and I have been dating for 1 year and 10 months today :)
I don't know what you guys really think about that, but I'm SO happy, excited, and proud. I don't know what I'd do without Eli.
School is winding down and I really don't have that much left. Today was supposed to be my last non-fiction class but we were really just having a party at 5 guys. I wanted to go but I feel a little nauseous because I have a stupid dentist appointment at 3 and THAT always makes me uneasy. Just thinking about them thrusting their metal tools down my throat makes me want to barf. I hate that sand crap that spray all over your teeth and you can still feel it on your face hours after you've left the office. Ugh. I just don't want to go! My teeth are extra sucky, too. No matter how much I brush or floss, they ALWAYS find something wrong with them. When I went to the dentist in November they had to fill 11 cavities. ELEVEN. It was painful. Not so much the drilling on my teeth, but I had to hold my mouth open for hours and my jaw couldn't stay open after a while but I couldn't close my mouth otherwise he'd drill through my gums! He told me that visit that these wouldn't be my last cavities because the shape of my teeth guaranteed that I'd have more to come. Then I have friends who never floss (and brag about it) and they've never had a cavity. Is that fair? No. But I guess that's not the dentist's fault. I do hate how sometimes they talk to me like a baby and they act as though I've never brushed my teeth before, "Rachel, this is a toothbrush. Brush in a circular motion and brush up around the gum." Duh.
I didn't mean for this blog to be about teeth, it's just really freaking me out that in a few hours they'll in my mouth poking me and making me bleed (inevitably).
Now I can't seem to write or think about anything else. I need a tranquilizer.
I don't know what you guys really think about that, but I'm SO happy, excited, and proud. I don't know what I'd do without Eli.
School is winding down and I really don't have that much left. Today was supposed to be my last non-fiction class but we were really just having a party at 5 guys. I wanted to go but I feel a little nauseous because I have a stupid dentist appointment at 3 and THAT always makes me uneasy. Just thinking about them thrusting their metal tools down my throat makes me want to barf. I hate that sand crap that spray all over your teeth and you can still feel it on your face hours after you've left the office. Ugh. I just don't want to go! My teeth are extra sucky, too. No matter how much I brush or floss, they ALWAYS find something wrong with them. When I went to the dentist in November they had to fill 11 cavities. ELEVEN. It was painful. Not so much the drilling on my teeth, but I had to hold my mouth open for hours and my jaw couldn't stay open after a while but I couldn't close my mouth otherwise he'd drill through my gums! He told me that visit that these wouldn't be my last cavities because the shape of my teeth guaranteed that I'd have more to come. Then I have friends who never floss (and brag about it) and they've never had a cavity. Is that fair? No. But I guess that's not the dentist's fault. I do hate how sometimes they talk to me like a baby and they act as though I've never brushed my teeth before, "Rachel, this is a toothbrush. Brush in a circular motion and brush up around the gum." Duh.
I didn't mean for this blog to be about teeth, it's just really freaking me out that in a few hours they'll in my mouth poking me and making me bleed (inevitably).
Now I can't seem to write or think about anything else. I need a tranquilizer.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
I can smell the death on the sheets
I rearranged my room...and even though it's probably the exact same amount of space, I feel like it looks bigger now.
I haven't been in the mood to blog lately. This week has been so crazy and mind boggling. I found out I had a D in french conversation. After freaking out and crying a little about it, I checked my grade again today and I have a 73%. I just need to hold onto that and I'll be happy with a C.
This is all I feel like saying for now. night!
<3rach
I haven't been in the mood to blog lately. This week has been so crazy and mind boggling. I found out I had a D in french conversation. After freaking out and crying a little about it, I checked my grade again today and I have a 73%. I just need to hold onto that and I'll be happy with a C.
This is all I feel like saying for now. night!
<3rach
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Nonsense
:¨·.·¨:
`·.Pretty heart thingy!
I saw this on a friend's facebook and I had to copy it haha.
I swear I'm going to bed soon...but should I change the title of my blog? I changed it awhile ago to make it like the six-word memoir thing but I feel that I can come up with something better. What do you think?
I watched two ABC Family movies today that were totally time consuming and I wasted about 4 hours of my Saturday watching movies that are only mediocre. Such is life, apparently.
Also, I am taking down the Twilight poster in my bedroom. I had a fascination with the Saga when I first read them but for the past year I've felt silly having read them and loved them at the time. I need to make a trip to the thrift store in search of a cooler poster/object to hang where the blank wall will be.
Anywho, I'm going to bed, finally.
goodnight!
<3 rachel
`·.Pretty heart thingy!
I saw this on a friend's facebook and I had to copy it haha.
I swear I'm going to bed soon...but should I change the title of my blog? I changed it awhile ago to make it like the six-word memoir thing but I feel that I can come up with something better. What do you think?
I watched two ABC Family movies today that were totally time consuming and I wasted about 4 hours of my Saturday watching movies that are only mediocre. Such is life, apparently.
Also, I am taking down the Twilight poster in my bedroom. I had a fascination with the Saga when I first read them but for the past year I've felt silly having read them and loved them at the time. I need to make a trip to the thrift store in search of a cooler poster/object to hang where the blank wall will be.
Anywho, I'm going to bed, finally.
goodnight!
<3 rachel
Motivation
Trying to conjure some motivation up so I can accomplish a decent amount of hw today. I have a poetry portfolio, edit/workshop everyone else's poems, a book report to write, another memoir to read, edit my own non-fiction piece, a french presentation, the last part of Faulkner's Light in August and a worksheet for it.
and I think that's it.
and I think that's it.
Friday, April 16, 2010
shout out to my main reader....
KATHERINE KATIE BOOTY ELIZABETH NORTON!!!!
she reads my blogs more than anyone else so why not blog about her?
Two years ago we made up a short story, written entirely on her cell phone mind you, and it was all about our neighbor Mark going on a date with Eli and his gay lover's baby girl who they named, Rachel Katherine. HAHAHAH This could be one of my favorite memories from freshman year...maybe. I have alot of good memories from that time of my life.
We used to call Eli, Elilium...and I think that was the title of the story, "The Story of Elilium". He, apparently, married a man named Amelia and they went on a honeymoon to Amelia Island. Mark, our neighbor in Beta, went to break the marriage up, for some reason...but then 20 years later, in china town, Mark saw a very beautiful woman and her name was Rachel Katherine. He went to pick her up for a date and she was IN FACT the daughter of Elilium and Amelia.
I forget how the rest of the story went...but for some reason, Katie and I thought that was just the funniest thing. Here's the best part: no, we weren't drinking. no, we weren't high. no, it wasn't even late at night. We just wrote it because that's the type of silly people we are.
I really hope Eli doesn't read this...
night!
<3
she reads my blogs more than anyone else so why not blog about her?
Two years ago we made up a short story, written entirely on her cell phone mind you, and it was all about our neighbor Mark going on a date with Eli and his gay lover's baby girl who they named, Rachel Katherine. HAHAHAH This could be one of my favorite memories from freshman year...maybe. I have alot of good memories from that time of my life.
We used to call Eli, Elilium...and I think that was the title of the story, "The Story of Elilium". He, apparently, married a man named Amelia and they went on a honeymoon to Amelia Island. Mark, our neighbor in Beta, went to break the marriage up, for some reason...but then 20 years later, in china town, Mark saw a very beautiful woman and her name was Rachel Katherine. He went to pick her up for a date and she was IN FACT the daughter of Elilium and Amelia.
I forget how the rest of the story went...but for some reason, Katie and I thought that was just the funniest thing. Here's the best part: no, we weren't drinking. no, we weren't high. no, it wasn't even late at night. We just wrote it because that's the type of silly people we are.
I really hope Eli doesn't read this...
night!
<3
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Changes
Everyone changes...its inevitable. We're only where we are for that moment, and then that minute, that second is gone.
Friendships change, relationships change...it's alarming.
I think of myself as a blessed person, who may not have it all together, but knows what's important.
I'm not happy all the time, but does that make me an unhappy person?
And how can one make observations of another person's life if they, being both parties, practically don't talk for months?
I mean to say, am I living outwardly what I'm really feeling inwardly? What is being projected to people around me? I get tired. I feel like I constantly have to have a smile on my face, or a thousand explanation points at the end of my text messages for people to think I'm "okay". It's
exhausting.
I keep typing things and erasing them because I keep contradicting myself. Isn't that human nature? We believe one thing and do another. I admit--I've got plenty of flaws. I break my own rules, I break God's rules. I need help, but only God can provide that.
Did you know that Jesus Christ cast out SEVEN demons from Mary Magdalene? Seven. What a tormented soul. It's amazing what kind of life she lived. She was the only person of Christ's disciples who stayed at his entire crucifixion. She was also the very first person that Jesus revealed himself to after he was resurrected. That's incredible. But before this life of loyalty and devotion to Christ, she was lost. I read in John Maccarthurs book, "Twelve Extraordinary Women" that Mary Magdalene had tried to cast out the first demon but they kept coming back, because she wasn't saved in the first place. She didn't trust in the Lord to take care of it, she was doing it on her own. And it wasn't sufficient.
This can be said about our own sins, our own demons per say. We try to cast them out ourselves but they always come back, mutated, disguised. Only Jesus can really put them to death.
I have flaws. I change. I have mood swings; bad and happy days. So do you. With Christ, though, He says His burden is light and His yolk is easy. Can't we just trust that?
Friendships change, relationships change...it's alarming.
I think of myself as a blessed person, who may not have it all together, but knows what's important.
I'm not happy all the time, but does that make me an unhappy person?
And how can one make observations of another person's life if they, being both parties, practically don't talk for months?
I mean to say, am I living outwardly what I'm really feeling inwardly? What is being projected to people around me? I get tired. I feel like I constantly have to have a smile on my face, or a thousand explanation points at the end of my text messages for people to think I'm "okay". It's
exhausting.
I keep typing things and erasing them because I keep contradicting myself. Isn't that human nature? We believe one thing and do another. I admit--I've got plenty of flaws. I break my own rules, I break God's rules. I need help, but only God can provide that.
Did you know that Jesus Christ cast out SEVEN demons from Mary Magdalene? Seven. What a tormented soul. It's amazing what kind of life she lived. She was the only person of Christ's disciples who stayed at his entire crucifixion. She was also the very first person that Jesus revealed himself to after he was resurrected. That's incredible. But before this life of loyalty and devotion to Christ, she was lost. I read in John Maccarthurs book, "Twelve Extraordinary Women" that Mary Magdalene had tried to cast out the first demon but they kept coming back, because she wasn't saved in the first place. She didn't trust in the Lord to take care of it, she was doing it on her own. And it wasn't sufficient.
This can be said about our own sins, our own demons per say. We try to cast them out ourselves but they always come back, mutated, disguised. Only Jesus can really put them to death.
I have flaws. I change. I have mood swings; bad and happy days. So do you. With Christ, though, He says His burden is light and His yolk is easy. Can't we just trust that?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Pressure
I feel it in my face. Around my eyes, above my brows. It grips its heavy and iced hands around my lungs and squeezes tightly.
Pollen, you suck. Allergies are a beast and I'm very upset that I have so much to do in such a condensed amount of time, AND I'M SICK!
Pray for me.
and I need a job.
<3 rachel
Pollen, you suck. Allergies are a beast and I'm very upset that I have so much to do in such a condensed amount of time, AND I'M SICK!
Pray for me.
and I need a job.
<3 rachel
Monday, April 12, 2010
Oh, did none of you forsee this?
That's what my french teacher said to us today when she found out that we all did our homework in our workbooks. She was pissed because we wrote in our WORKBOOKS and we didn't write our answers on a separate sheet of paper because she wanted to collect our homework but didn't want to have a huge stack of WORKBOOKS to collect. She didn't write that anywhere on the instructions that she posted for the homework THE NIGHT BEFORE IT WAS DUE. Ugh. And, she didn't send out an email saying she was posting our homework on blackboard. She just randomly posted it. How annoying is that?
I'm so glad that I'm dropping the stupid french minor. I don't understand what's going on in my classes anyway.
I'm so glad that I'm dropping the stupid french minor. I don't understand what's going on in my classes anyway.
I blog at the strangest times
Is that okay? I want to write now more than ever. I love getting thoughts down for me to read later on.
Today, I did homework at a rapid speed. In between church and RUF music practice I read seven chapters worth of Light in August and did a 3 page word document of research and analysis of the text. Okay, so I sparknoted the 7 chapters...I still wrote 3 pages on it :) Yesterday, I wrote an annotated bibliography that I was supposed to be 3 pages...but I turned it into 5. The end of the semester is drawing nearer, so I must work my hiny off.
My auntie Karen used to sing this song when we were little and taking a bath...or just running around naked, "I see a little hiny, so white and shiny. You better hide it, before I bite it!" hahahahaha
It's funny what words trigger the memories you thought you lost.
I feel horrible admitting this, but I will admit it: I've been watching a few episodes of South Park with Eli.
Yes, it's awful. But there's something about Eric Cartman's voice that makes me laugh so hard I just can't stop laughing. I would not recommend this show to anybody, really. In fact, I won't be watching much more of it. I did it as a favor to Eli because he gets stuck watching girly movies with me.
ugh, having another cough attack. night people!
<3 rachel
Today, I did homework at a rapid speed. In between church and RUF music practice I read seven chapters worth of Light in August and did a 3 page word document of research and analysis of the text. Okay, so I sparknoted the 7 chapters...I still wrote 3 pages on it :) Yesterday, I wrote an annotated bibliography that I was supposed to be 3 pages...but I turned it into 5. The end of the semester is drawing nearer, so I must work my hiny off.
My auntie Karen used to sing this song when we were little and taking a bath...or just running around naked, "I see a little hiny, so white and shiny. You better hide it, before I bite it!" hahahahaha
It's funny what words trigger the memories you thought you lost.
I feel horrible admitting this, but I will admit it: I've been watching a few episodes of South Park with Eli.
Yes, it's awful. But there's something about Eric Cartman's voice that makes me laugh so hard I just can't stop laughing. I would not recommend this show to anybody, really. In fact, I won't be watching much more of it. I did it as a favor to Eli because he gets stuck watching girly movies with me.
ugh, having another cough attack. night people!
<3 rachel
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Healthy Mind and Healthy Heart
For the first time...my bitterness is making me angry at me, and not the person I'm bitter towards. It's very strange...because I feel better! God is working with me here, or I should say working ON me since I need to be fixed. Bitterness can really eat someone alive. I know it does for me. I feel like I can hide pretty well just how angry I can become sometimes. Most of the time, I'm upfront with my emotions; so much so, it allows me to better hide what I'm most frustrated with so people don't ask.
My frustration with other people, is actually my disappointment with myself. I suck! But, Lord help me, at least I'm confronting it now!
I'm leaving this one short tonight.
<3 rachel
My frustration with other people, is actually my disappointment with myself. I suck! But, Lord help me, at least I'm confronting it now!
I'm leaving this one short tonight.
<3 rachel
Saturday, April 10, 2010
"There is a stirring deep within me"
I will rise up, rise up
and bow down
and lay my crown
at his wounded feet!
and bow down
and lay my crown
at his wounded feet!
I really love that song. I listened to it like 5 times on my way back to Tampa on Easter. I'm pausing and deleting half of what I write on this entry because I want to say I'm running out of things to say, but the truth is I just don't want to look stupid in writing what I'm feeling.
I feel like a failure.
For whatever reason, I can't get a job. I've felt this way for months seeing as I've been applying to different places for a while now. I feel unwanted; I'm not good enough. Today, I almost had hope. This company sent me an email last night saying my resume was selected and they would be conducting phone interviews Friday (today/yesterday), from 2-7pm. Yeah, they never called. At least they sent me an email at 7:04pm saying my resume in fact was NOT selected...and they wished me good luck in finding a job. What the heck? Don't tell me I've been selected for an interview, make me sweat all freakin' day for your call, then say I wasn't selected. I'd rather them tell me up front they're not interested. What's up with that? I know that I'll get a job if it's God's will for me to get a job. Maybe I'm just not looking in the right place...you know?
.
Writing is difficult.
I want to be true. I want to be genuine. I think some people get that from me and others are just so stuck on how mighty their damn writing is they are completely oblivious to what I'm trying to say. I hate that. And I know that if I try to publish anything, some people won't understand...arrogant people just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
HEY!!! I wrote so much more than I intended to! I feel better as well. Hopefully I'll write again before the weekend's over.
<3rachel
Thursday, April 8, 2010
29 Hours
That's all I have left. 29 credit hours, and I can graduate from the University of South Florida. THIS IS INSANE!
I remember moving into Beta Hall in the fall of 2007...I was barely 18. There were people wearing neon green shirts that were helping people move into their dorms that day. It was hot, and I'm fairly sure the elevator wasn't working that day. Dad was worried that they wouldn't let me keep the refrigerator he bought me because it was bigger than the refrigerators they allowed us to keep in those small rooms. We got it in though. The first day of class was terrifying because Kayla and Katie had their first class together, and I had mine alone. I got to class 30 minutes early because I heard that if you're late, some teachers drop you. It was freshman composition. In retrospect, it was like we were still in highschool. My classes are so different now than the ones I took freshman year (thank goodness).
Now I'm going to graduate in two semesters and I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I'm scared...
I have to cut this short because there's this piece of sausage stuck in my teeth and it's really bothering me.
see ya!
<3rachel
I remember moving into Beta Hall in the fall of 2007...I was barely 18. There were people wearing neon green shirts that were helping people move into their dorms that day. It was hot, and I'm fairly sure the elevator wasn't working that day. Dad was worried that they wouldn't let me keep the refrigerator he bought me because it was bigger than the refrigerators they allowed us to keep in those small rooms. We got it in though. The first day of class was terrifying because Kayla and Katie had their first class together, and I had mine alone. I got to class 30 minutes early because I heard that if you're late, some teachers drop you. It was freshman composition. In retrospect, it was like we were still in highschool. My classes are so different now than the ones I took freshman year (thank goodness).
Now I'm going to graduate in two semesters and I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. I'm scared...
I have to cut this short because there's this piece of sausage stuck in my teeth and it's really bothering me.
see ya!
<3rachel
Sunday, April 4, 2010
This has to be quick...
I hate that my sisters don't need me anymore. They're each other's best friends and come to find out my entire family thinks im the most irritable person. Fascinating. I wonder what they'd see if they looked from my lenses.
Neti Pot is seriously the best invention ever. Can't wait to shove that teapot spout up my nostrils.
Neti Pot is seriously the best invention ever. Can't wait to shove that teapot spout up my nostrils.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Last Day in March!
Tomorrow is April Fool's Day and I have nothing planned. I've never really done anything before so I don't think the universe will be missing out. I do have one story though...
The April Fool's Day of my freshman year of highschool...which would have been 2004 (whoa), we had a Passion Play rehearsal. I think it was either blocking or a run-through. For those of you who don't know what Passion Play is, it's an annual play my church back at home in Ormond Beach does...it's about the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. Anyway, so there's this scene in the play where we all kinda walk around singing, lifting our hands and stuff and the song is called "Hosanna God, Save Us" or maybe it's just "Hosanna God" I forget, I haven't been in the play in 3 years :(
But the pastor who leads the music had headphones in and he was conducting and word got around that we were all going to lipsync and not actually sing the song. There's about 100 people, maybe more, singing all at once onstage so when the song began, and all of our mouths were moving but there was no noise, Pastor Rick looked really confused and was tapping his headphones and when he finally took them off he started laughing and so did we.
I miss being in Passion Play ALOT!
I think that for the next blog that I write, I'm going to write out a prayer. I think it would be cool...
<3 rachel
The April Fool's Day of my freshman year of highschool...which would have been 2004 (whoa), we had a Passion Play rehearsal. I think it was either blocking or a run-through. For those of you who don't know what Passion Play is, it's an annual play my church back at home in Ormond Beach does...it's about the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. Anyway, so there's this scene in the play where we all kinda walk around singing, lifting our hands and stuff and the song is called "Hosanna God, Save Us" or maybe it's just "Hosanna God" I forget, I haven't been in the play in 3 years :(
But the pastor who leads the music had headphones in and he was conducting and word got around that we were all going to lipsync and not actually sing the song. There's about 100 people, maybe more, singing all at once onstage so when the song began, and all of our mouths were moving but there was no noise, Pastor Rick looked really confused and was tapping his headphones and when he finally took them off he started laughing and so did we.
I miss being in Passion Play ALOT!
I think that for the next blog that I write, I'm going to write out a prayer. I think it would be cool...
<3 rachel
Saturday, March 27, 2010
77th Blog
I think I should have saved this type of blog title for a better number like, 100. But 77's a cool number too I suppose.
I made this blog my freshman year of college, I think in the spring time. I like that I use it alot more now. It's a great place to vent and I love looking back to stuff I wrote awhile ago.
List time!
Current annoyances:
-my glasses STILL aren't here. I hate US mail.
-William Faulkner, "Light in August". I have to read it for American Lit. bluadfkj.
-I'm sick :( I woke up at 5:45am this SATURDAY morning because my glands were so swollen, I couldn't breathe. It was a little scary but apparently I eventually fell asleep and I got to sleep in until 11:30. I love sleeping late ;)
-nobody's hiring me...and I need a job.
Current Praises:
-there's only a few more weeks left of school
-I have the best parents in the world
-I had enough motivation to both work out today and clean my room
-I have the best boyfriend in the world
-God's teaching me to lean on Him more than friends.
-I'm alive.
So the good outweighs the bad...as it always should.
I need to run a few errands today and do some homework so I'm getting off this blog for now.
<3rachel
I made this blog my freshman year of college, I think in the spring time. I like that I use it alot more now. It's a great place to vent and I love looking back to stuff I wrote awhile ago.
List time!
Current annoyances:
-my glasses STILL aren't here. I hate US mail.
-William Faulkner, "Light in August". I have to read it for American Lit. bluadfkj.
-I'm sick :( I woke up at 5:45am this SATURDAY morning because my glands were so swollen, I couldn't breathe. It was a little scary but apparently I eventually fell asleep and I got to sleep in until 11:30. I love sleeping late ;)
-nobody's hiring me...and I need a job.
Current Praises:
-there's only a few more weeks left of school
-I have the best parents in the world
-I had enough motivation to both work out today and clean my room
-I have the best boyfriend in the world
-God's teaching me to lean on Him more than friends.
-I'm alive.
So the good outweighs the bad...as it always should.
I need to run a few errands today and do some homework so I'm getting off this blog for now.
<3rachel
Friday, March 26, 2010
Twenty Minutes
I went to a reading last night by Kathleen Finneran and she was pretty cool. She read from her book "The Tenderland" and read from her manuscript that she's working on called, "More Than I Can Say". I think I enjoy poetry readings more than fiction/non-fiction readings because they seem like they last a much longer time. At poetry readings the poet can talk about the poem, read for a minute or two, then talk to the audience again. Last night, she read for like 25 minutes straight and for me personally, it was hard to sit still. I'm a horrible fidgeter haha. I overall loved what she read, I just think I'd rather read it than hear it. It was alot to take in.
I have about 20 minutes to spare and that's why I got on here to write. I can't believe there's only 4-5 weeks left of school! Normally, I'd be nervous but I don't really have finals this semester. I have a few papers and one short test for french conversation.
*Eli painted my toenails last night* hahahaha and HE ASKED ME IF HE COULD. I didn't even ask him to. He's such a sweetie, I love him so much :)
Alright, I don't really have much more to say so I'm going to stop before I ramble.
<3rach
I have about 20 minutes to spare and that's why I got on here to write. I can't believe there's only 4-5 weeks left of school! Normally, I'd be nervous but I don't really have finals this semester. I have a few papers and one short test for french conversation.
*Eli painted my toenails last night* hahahaha and HE ASKED ME IF HE COULD. I didn't even ask him to. He's such a sweetie, I love him so much :)
Alright, I don't really have much more to say so I'm going to stop before I ramble.
<3rach
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Am I supposed to be flattered?
They say imitation is the biggest or most sincere form of flattery.
Why is it so annoying, then?
Why is it so annoying, then?
The Love of Christ
"The Love of Christ is rich and free; Fixed on His own eternally; nor earth nor hell can it remove; Long as He lives, His own He'll love."
- Derek Webb and Sandra McCracken
I really enjoy listening to indelible grace. They're so awesome. I'm looking forward to RUF this week, we had alot of visitors last Tuesday and I love how more and more people are hearing about this ministry. God is really, so good.
I find that I feel really guilty. Not just guilty of sin, but I feel guilt over things I'm not doing. I don't love Christ enough. I fall really short, every day. Mehhh. I'm praying that God gives me faith and that I'd have faith in His sufficient grace.
Eli is amazing, by the way. <3
I just wanted to blog real quick because this song was in my head and I wanted to write it down on here.
night! <3
- Derek Webb and Sandra McCracken
I really enjoy listening to indelible grace. They're so awesome. I'm looking forward to RUF this week, we had alot of visitors last Tuesday and I love how more and more people are hearing about this ministry. God is really, so good.
I find that I feel really guilty. Not just guilty of sin, but I feel guilt over things I'm not doing. I don't love Christ enough. I fall really short, every day. Mehhh. I'm praying that God gives me faith and that I'd have faith in His sufficient grace.
Eli is amazing, by the way. <3
I just wanted to blog real quick because this song was in my head and I wanted to write it down on here.
night! <3
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
"Isn't that spit on your neck, kick you in the crotch FANTASTIC?!"
I brought my FRIENDS dvd's back home (home being Tampa). I can already see that a night won't go by that I don't watch an episode. I don't know how some people don't like it. It guess it goes to show you that we really are ALL made so differently from one another.
I don't have much to say right now other than I counted and there's only 38 school days left of my spring 2010 semester.
A way you can pray for me: that I find a part-time job, especially for summer. I'll only be taking 2 classes, online, and so during the day I'd like to work somewhere. Katie and I applied at a preschool today and I can't tell how sure they were about calling either of us back in for another interview. I hope that one of us gets it, we both need it!
Creative writing is a hard major...I'm not saying its harder than like Engineering or Pre-Med or something but it's harder than other people would think. I feel like I'm all dried out of creative fluid. I need inspiration! I love the classes I'm taking, but there's SO MUCH writing, I'm getting a little burned out :( hopefully this changes soon.
RUF tonight! I've missed my friends!
MUCH LOVE <3 rachel
I don't have much to say right now other than I counted and there's only 38 school days left of my spring 2010 semester.
A way you can pray for me: that I find a part-time job, especially for summer. I'll only be taking 2 classes, online, and so during the day I'd like to work somewhere. Katie and I applied at a preschool today and I can't tell how sure they were about calling either of us back in for another interview. I hope that one of us gets it, we both need it!
Creative writing is a hard major...I'm not saying its harder than like Engineering or Pre-Med or something but it's harder than other people would think. I feel like I'm all dried out of creative fluid. I need inspiration! I love the classes I'm taking, but there's SO MUCH writing, I'm getting a little burned out :( hopefully this changes soon.
RUF tonight! I've missed my friends!
MUCH LOVE <3 rachel
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Unsettled
Two more days and I'll be back to school, working my rear end off again.
I've had an average week. I didn't do anything I wouldn't normally do except I didn't have to go to school along with it. This may sound dull, but I don't think my mind could have handled anything more than that. Every night there's been intense conversations, be it with my parents, sisters, boyfriend, friends that come over to catch up, etc. I'm over-whelmed and I miss the days when I didn't actually have anything to really think about other than who I was going to play with at recess that day at school. This sucks...
There's something about the "end-times" that's never settled with me. Every believer is supposed to be overjoyed that Christ is coming back and that the end of the world is the beginning of life with Jesus and stuff, but if I'm really going to be honest...I don't like thinking about it. I think I'd much rather live a normal life, get married, have kids, take them to some sort of extra curricular activity, travel...this all sounds so incredibly selfish when I write it all out. I just struggle with doubt so much and when I think about Christ's return, it freaks me out. It churns my stomach.
I think the biggest thing is if I lived a normal life, there's no way that I would die that hadn't already been done before, you know? But when Christ comes back...well, nobody's gone through that before and I HATE change and uncertainty. I almost don't want to think about it.
Is this sinful?
I've had an average week. I didn't do anything I wouldn't normally do except I didn't have to go to school along with it. This may sound dull, but I don't think my mind could have handled anything more than that. Every night there's been intense conversations, be it with my parents, sisters, boyfriend, friends that come over to catch up, etc. I'm over-whelmed and I miss the days when I didn't actually have anything to really think about other than who I was going to play with at recess that day at school. This sucks...
There's something about the "end-times" that's never settled with me. Every believer is supposed to be overjoyed that Christ is coming back and that the end of the world is the beginning of life with Jesus and stuff, but if I'm really going to be honest...I don't like thinking about it. I think I'd much rather live a normal life, get married, have kids, take them to some sort of extra curricular activity, travel...this all sounds so incredibly selfish when I write it all out. I just struggle with doubt so much and when I think about Christ's return, it freaks me out. It churns my stomach.
I think the biggest thing is if I lived a normal life, there's no way that I would die that hadn't already been done before, you know? But when Christ comes back...well, nobody's gone through that before and I HATE change and uncertainty. I almost don't want to think about it.
Is this sinful?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
blooooog
Spring Break '10 is different from other spring breaks that I've had before. I have not yet been to the beach...I'm actually doing homework, I stayed in Tampa, and I'm looking for a job. This is so weird. But, I'm fairly relaxed.
I'm putting off homework by sitting here on my couch in my apartment...TV's off...nothing really distracting me, but I'm refusing to get in the shower because I know that when I'm clean, I'll actually have to do something. I'm such a lazy gal.
Busch Gardens this past saturday was amazing. I love that theme park... I'd totally buy the year pass but I don't know anybody else who has it :(
I did feel like I was in high school again because I was with a bunch of high schoolers and my former youth pastor. It was a nice feeling, though.
I don't really have much to say other than I'm a little annoyed because I clean all of my dishes the day that I use them, and yet I always end up doing someone else's. I'm 99.9% certain that this favor isn't reciprocated because of how OCD I am about my own dirty dishes.
I'm not writing to start drama, because I don't even know who's they are. I just don't understand why it's always me...
Question: why do people love to be vague on their facebooks, twitters, and blogs? I know I can be sometimes, then I get mad when people want to know what's up. I think I do it to complain or vent but I don't want to be specific enough to let the person I'm annoyed with know I'm annoyed with them...it's pretty messed up so I try not to be that way.
This is all I'm writing for now because I REALLY need to shower.
see ya!
<3 rachel
I'm putting off homework by sitting here on my couch in my apartment...TV's off...nothing really distracting me, but I'm refusing to get in the shower because I know that when I'm clean, I'll actually have to do something. I'm such a lazy gal.
Busch Gardens this past saturday was amazing. I love that theme park... I'd totally buy the year pass but I don't know anybody else who has it :(
I did feel like I was in high school again because I was with a bunch of high schoolers and my former youth pastor. It was a nice feeling, though.
I don't really have much to say other than I'm a little annoyed because I clean all of my dishes the day that I use them, and yet I always end up doing someone else's. I'm 99.9% certain that this favor isn't reciprocated because of how OCD I am about my own dirty dishes.
I'm not writing to start drama, because I don't even know who's they are. I just don't understand why it's always me...
Question: why do people love to be vague on their facebooks, twitters, and blogs? I know I can be sometimes, then I get mad when people want to know what's up. I think I do it to complain or vent but I don't want to be specific enough to let the person I'm annoyed with know I'm annoyed with them...it's pretty messed up so I try not to be that way.
This is all I'm writing for now because I REALLY need to shower.
see ya!
<3 rachel
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Lying
I'm reading a book called "Lying" by Lauren Slater...it's a memoir, so it's non-fiction. The first chapter only has two words: "I exaggerate". I found this interesting because now throughout the rest of the book, I'm not sure what's real and what's just emotional truth.
Very interesting stuff.
I went to the post office today because I made a card for Kemper Langford and it took me forever to get some stamps to mail it to Alabama. I slid the card into the blue metal box thingy outside and I realized I've only done that maybe 3 other times in my LIFE! Email ruins everything cool. I think we should all write each other letters.
I am interested in everything else besides studying for my midterm for French Conversation. She is the WORST teacherrrrrr. She makes me physically afraid to speak out in her class because she makes fun of you if you don't speak French perfectly. By the way, I can't even understand her because her Haitian accent is so thick. I can understand Parisian accents so much better and they even speak faster.
I'm going to Busch Gardens with some students from youth group back at home. I have connections with my sister being in student council and all ;)
So I probably won't blog again until then.
<3
Very interesting stuff.
I went to the post office today because I made a card for Kemper Langford and it took me forever to get some stamps to mail it to Alabama. I slid the card into the blue metal box thingy outside and I realized I've only done that maybe 3 other times in my LIFE! Email ruins everything cool. I think we should all write each other letters.
I am interested in everything else besides studying for my midterm for French Conversation. She is the WORST teacherrrrrr. She makes me physically afraid to speak out in her class because she makes fun of you if you don't speak French perfectly. By the way, I can't even understand her because her Haitian accent is so thick. I can understand Parisian accents so much better and they even speak faster.
I'm going to Busch Gardens with some students from youth group back at home. I have connections with my sister being in student council and all ;)
So I probably won't blog again until then.
<3
J'ai reçu une note?
There's only one more class I must go to before my spring break officially begins. I can't skip it, either :(
It's the class I hate the most, it's the most useless class I'm taking...AND it's the only class that's giving me a midterm.
This professor will receive a little critique on the back of her performance worksheet at the end of this semester.
I'm going home, to Daytona Beach, for a few days next week to do the following:
-get my eyes checked (so I might return to school with glasses).
-get my oil changed
-get my hair cut
-bring back to Tampa with me my "Office" dvd's and "Friends" dvds.
I guess I should also do all of my homework too, blehg.sdf.
Today was better than yesterday.
:)
It's the class I hate the most, it's the most useless class I'm taking...AND it's the only class that's giving me a midterm.
This professor will receive a little critique on the back of her performance worksheet at the end of this semester.
I'm going home, to Daytona Beach, for a few days next week to do the following:
-get my eyes checked (so I might return to school with glasses).
-get my oil changed
-get my hair cut
-bring back to Tampa with me my "Office" dvd's and "Friends" dvds.
I guess I should also do all of my homework too, blehg.sdf.
Today was better than yesterday.
:)
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Shame
Sometimes I'm so ashamed I want to crawl in a hole and die.
and the weird thing is, I didn't even do anything. People can be so hateful and rude... I really don't understand but I guess you're not going to get along with everyone you meet.
Then you meet people who are very kind and nice to be around, and thank God for them.
I'm feeling lonely right now, though. I'm not sure if its because Spring Break is happening next week and I have nothing really fun planned, or if I'm just a loser anyway.
I wish I could fall asleep and maybe waking up tomorrow will make me feel better automatically but I took a two hour nap this afternoon and I'm not tired at all.
Life kinda sucks.
and the weird thing is, I didn't even do anything. People can be so hateful and rude... I really don't understand but I guess you're not going to get along with everyone you meet.
Then you meet people who are very kind and nice to be around, and thank God for them.
I'm feeling lonely right now, though. I'm not sure if its because Spring Break is happening next week and I have nothing really fun planned, or if I'm just a loser anyway.
I wish I could fall asleep and maybe waking up tomorrow will make me feel better automatically but I took a two hour nap this afternoon and I'm not tired at all.
Life kinda sucks.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Truffles
You know when something funny happens to you and you don't really laugh at it until hours later?
Today in my french conversation class, one of the groups presenting handed out chocolate truffles (yummy) at the end of their presentation. One of the girls that sits a few rows over apparently has never had a truffle before. She popped the tiny ball of glory into her mouth, and basically gagged because she wasn't expecting the mushy amazingness in the middle of the milk chocolate ball. I'm laughing now because at the time...I'm going to admit, I was a little upset that a truffle would go so wasted like that.
I had one of my more embarrassing moments today. My stomach was really upset and I searched around several floors in the Marshall Center for an empty bathroom and when I found one, it was like a bomb went off in my bowels. It was AWEFUL. and before I could do a courtesy flush, two older women came in. Of the 30 or so stalls they could have chosen to pee in, they walked all the way to the back corner where I was and went next to me. The one who was directly to my right was making noises like she was suffering not to smell my poop...noises like, "wheww... mmmm ughh"
well. excuse me for going to the bathroom IN THE BATHROOM. I tried to find an empty one. It's better that I crap in there and not all over myself elsewhere haha.
So I waited it out until they were done whispering about how smelly my poop is, and then I walked as fast as I could away from the Marshall Center hoping the women didn't recognize me by my shoes.
c'est tout pour aujourd'hui.
<3 rachel
Today in my french conversation class, one of the groups presenting handed out chocolate truffles (yummy) at the end of their presentation. One of the girls that sits a few rows over apparently has never had a truffle before. She popped the tiny ball of glory into her mouth, and basically gagged because she wasn't expecting the mushy amazingness in the middle of the milk chocolate ball. I'm laughing now because at the time...I'm going to admit, I was a little upset that a truffle would go so wasted like that.
I had one of my more embarrassing moments today. My stomach was really upset and I searched around several floors in the Marshall Center for an empty bathroom and when I found one, it was like a bomb went off in my bowels. It was AWEFUL. and before I could do a courtesy flush, two older women came in. Of the 30 or so stalls they could have chosen to pee in, they walked all the way to the back corner where I was and went next to me. The one who was directly to my right was making noises like she was suffering not to smell my poop...noises like, "wheww... mmmm ughh"
well. excuse me for going to the bathroom IN THE BATHROOM. I tried to find an empty one. It's better that I crap in there and not all over myself elsewhere haha.
So I waited it out until they were done whispering about how smelly my poop is, and then I walked as fast as I could away from the Marshall Center hoping the women didn't recognize me by my shoes.
c'est tout pour aujourd'hui.
<3 rachel
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Annotated What?
I'm currently working on my annotated bibliography for my American Literature class...I was supposed to have chosen 3 sources that are not biographical on either Ernest Hemingway or F. Scott Fitzgerald...I chose Hemingway. I, being an idiot, chose a book that seems a little too biographical. Great. Awesome. Splendid. I can't wait to explain this one. I'm only allowed one online source so it's not like I can just search for another one while I'm sitting here on this lovely pleather couch in my cozy apartment. Maybe she won't notice?
Today, however, was an excellent Sunday. Nicole came to Holy Trinity Presbyterian with us and the sermon was about marriage and how it's merely just a parable for Christ loving and marrying the Church. It makes you wonder why we even get married in the first place when our earthly marriage includes so much selfishness and fighting but we are reminded of God's grace and its efficiency. I hope I get to marry Eli :)
Current annoyance: this so-called "project" I have to do for my French Conversation class...it's rubbish. I don't want to do it.
I better get back to this buttload of reading/writing/analyzing.
gooooodnight. <3 rachel
Today, however, was an excellent Sunday. Nicole came to Holy Trinity Presbyterian with us and the sermon was about marriage and how it's merely just a parable for Christ loving and marrying the Church. It makes you wonder why we even get married in the first place when our earthly marriage includes so much selfishness and fighting but we are reminded of God's grace and its efficiency. I hope I get to marry Eli :)
Current annoyance: this so-called "project" I have to do for my French Conversation class...it's rubbish. I don't want to do it.
I better get back to this buttload of reading/writing/analyzing.
gooooodnight. <3 rachel
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Still Sick
I'm still sick, but I can't say I haven't been crazy busy this week trying to make up for lost time.
I got another A on my french composition so that was a really nice surprise. Whatever I'm doing for that class, I'm doing it right apparently.
Last night was "girls night" at Stacy's. She has the cutest apartment! I kind of wish I lived alone sometimes but I know I'm not ready for that. I'm SUCH a scaredy cat hahah.
Eli and I haven't been fighting for a really long time and of course last night I got a little too frustrated and over emotional at him. I hate being this way so much. It sucks because I know God's working in my life and taking alot of this problem away but my sin is still very active and real in my day to day life. It's just so hard living with it.
Today I will be in the library, slaving away at homework. I have to do an annotated bibliography just 3 sources for American Lit. I have to finish reading the last half of "To Have and Have Not"....UGHHHH. I have another french composition to compose by Monday. I have a whole powerpoint about Haiti to put together but thats due Wednesday...that presentation though will be given IN FRENCH. yikes. I probably also have some reading to do before Ira's class on Tuesday and I have to start writing my main project for that class rather soon.
Alot of this is just a mental note for me.
Coffee.
<3rach
I got another A on my french composition so that was a really nice surprise. Whatever I'm doing for that class, I'm doing it right apparently.
Last night was "girls night" at Stacy's. She has the cutest apartment! I kind of wish I lived alone sometimes but I know I'm not ready for that. I'm SUCH a scaredy cat hahah.
Eli and I haven't been fighting for a really long time and of course last night I got a little too frustrated and over emotional at him. I hate being this way so much. It sucks because I know God's working in my life and taking alot of this problem away but my sin is still very active and real in my day to day life. It's just so hard living with it.
Today I will be in the library, slaving away at homework. I have to do an annotated bibliography just 3 sources for American Lit. I have to finish reading the last half of "To Have and Have Not"....UGHHHH. I have another french composition to compose by Monday. I have a whole powerpoint about Haiti to put together but thats due Wednesday...that presentation though will be given IN FRENCH. yikes. I probably also have some reading to do before Ira's class on Tuesday and I have to start writing my main project for that class rather soon.
Alot of this is just a mental note for me.
Coffee.
<3rach
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Lake Placid and Valentine's Day
I feel I need to document everything that happened since it was quite possibly the most fun I've had since winter break.
Some people from RUF were going to Lake Placid this weekend because Jenny's uncle has a house on the lake there and we all wanted a retreat of some sort. Duncan drove his huge van and with him went Dustin, Allen, and Grant. Bucky drove separately, as did Eli, Katie, Nicole and I. My crew left Tampa around 3:30 (a little later than planned) and it was NON STOP rain until we literally pulled into the driveway at the lake house at 6pm. It was a little stressful because I've never driven down any of the back roads in that area before and we took a different route than everyone else because and went through Polk County.
We FINALLY arrived and food was there...which at the time was what I was most excited about hahaha! Everyone ate, talked for a while, and then Jeff lead a study on the Canon of the bible, and how it came about. It was a really intellectual study but everyone seemed to enjoy it because it was so applicable to discussions we have with people every day.
Afterward it was GAMES GALORE. We played Catch Phrase (my team won) we played Outburst, (the other team won) and for a tie breaker we kept the same teams for both games, we played Taboo, andddd my team won :) I really love that game, I don't know why I have never played it before I came to college.
Jeff, Jenny, and Jake went to bed and all of us kids stayed up in the living room laughing and talking and it was such a good time, it really felt like we had a strong community. We played two truths and a lie and everyone did a really good job trying to convince people of the lie...I guess we're all good liars? :)
We girls (nicole, katie and I) went to our room because we said we were tired and going to sleep (this is about 1am) and we ended up talking and keeping the boys up with our loudness til around 3:30!!!!!! We're crazy! haha We got up at 9, some people were up earlier, and Jeff made us pancakes mmmm :) we had devotion time and THEN we were informed we'd be going on a scavenger hunt...around lake placid!
I had heard that there was going to be a scavenger hunt but I was not expecting this. The town is COVERED in wall murals of their town history. We got split into two teams of 3 and one team of 4. Team 1 was Eli, Allen, and Duncan. Team 2 was Grant, Spunde, Nicole, and I. Team 3 was Katie, Bucky, and Dustin. Our job was to run around Lake Placid and find the wall murals that Jeff showed us pictures of...and not only did we have to be IN the picture, we had to ACT OUT what was being portrayed in the mural!!!!! Then there was extra points for each picture you took of a decorated "specialty" garbage can.
We had an hour and a half and it was just chaos running around, mainly on this one long street of this little town. The pictures are on facebook if you want to check them out :)
Team 3 won, Team 2 was a close second, and Team 1 was the only team that found each mural but they came in last due to their lack of garbage can pictures hahah.
We ate lunch, hung around the house...and oh yeah. Meanwhile, this WHOLE TIME, it's been absolutely FREEZING out. Allen decides that for $4.00 he'd be willing to jump in the lake if he had a wet suite. Lo and Behold, we had wet suites! So a few of us pitched in a dollar and he jumped in the lake....freezing cold lake. He screamed a little after he came up from jumping in, fully submerged.
We left there at 3, got home a little after 5:40. All in all, wonderful trip. I love my friends!
THEN Eli took me to see "Valentines Day" last night. It's that movie that looks like its going to be alot like that movie that came out last Valentines Day, "He's Just Not That Into You". I loved that movie and own it on DVD, but "Valentine's Day" was even better! Eli said he liked it too :)
Today, my Valentine and I are pretty sick. I woke up for church and was having a hard time breathing so I called Eli to tell him I couldn't drive him to church and he was just as bad. We might cancel our dinner plans tonight and celebrate later this week but nothing's been fully decided yet.
I love him so much, have I said that yet? I think Eli Johnston is just the sweetest person God could have given me. He was worried about not having anything all prepared for me today...he asked if he'd still be a good boyfriend since he waited until the day off to get me something hahaha he's just so cute. He's the BEST boyfriend in the world, in my opinion. He's understanding, loving, strict with me as well as honest when he feels I'm wrong, and goodness, nobody really does that for me except him! I can trust him whole heartedly (even when there's days I say I can't trust him, I'm lying and just upset). If I wasn't madly in love with him and wanted to marry him someday, he'd be my "maid of honor" hahahaha he's absolutely my bestest friend in the whole world.
now that I'm all mushy, I'm going to get a shower and try to look good for when he comes over later :)
Happy Valentine's Day!
<3 rachel
Some people from RUF were going to Lake Placid this weekend because Jenny's uncle has a house on the lake there and we all wanted a retreat of some sort. Duncan drove his huge van and with him went Dustin, Allen, and Grant. Bucky drove separately, as did Eli, Katie, Nicole and I. My crew left Tampa around 3:30 (a little later than planned) and it was NON STOP rain until we literally pulled into the driveway at the lake house at 6pm. It was a little stressful because I've never driven down any of the back roads in that area before and we took a different route than everyone else because and went through Polk County.
We FINALLY arrived and food was there...which at the time was what I was most excited about hahaha! Everyone ate, talked for a while, and then Jeff lead a study on the Canon of the bible, and how it came about. It was a really intellectual study but everyone seemed to enjoy it because it was so applicable to discussions we have with people every day.
Afterward it was GAMES GALORE. We played Catch Phrase (my team won) we played Outburst, (the other team won) and for a tie breaker we kept the same teams for both games, we played Taboo, andddd my team won :) I really love that game, I don't know why I have never played it before I came to college.
Jeff, Jenny, and Jake went to bed and all of us kids stayed up in the living room laughing and talking and it was such a good time, it really felt like we had a strong community. We played two truths and a lie and everyone did a really good job trying to convince people of the lie...I guess we're all good liars? :)
We girls (nicole, katie and I) went to our room because we said we were tired and going to sleep (this is about 1am) and we ended up talking and keeping the boys up with our loudness til around 3:30!!!!!! We're crazy! haha We got up at 9, some people were up earlier, and Jeff made us pancakes mmmm :) we had devotion time and THEN we were informed we'd be going on a scavenger hunt...around lake placid!
I had heard that there was going to be a scavenger hunt but I was not expecting this. The town is COVERED in wall murals of their town history. We got split into two teams of 3 and one team of 4. Team 1 was Eli, Allen, and Duncan. Team 2 was Grant, Spunde, Nicole, and I. Team 3 was Katie, Bucky, and Dustin. Our job was to run around Lake Placid and find the wall murals that Jeff showed us pictures of...and not only did we have to be IN the picture, we had to ACT OUT what was being portrayed in the mural!!!!! Then there was extra points for each picture you took of a decorated "specialty" garbage can.
We had an hour and a half and it was just chaos running around, mainly on this one long street of this little town. The pictures are on facebook if you want to check them out :)
Team 3 won, Team 2 was a close second, and Team 1 was the only team that found each mural but they came in last due to their lack of garbage can pictures hahah.
We ate lunch, hung around the house...and oh yeah. Meanwhile, this WHOLE TIME, it's been absolutely FREEZING out. Allen decides that for $4.00 he'd be willing to jump in the lake if he had a wet suite. Lo and Behold, we had wet suites! So a few of us pitched in a dollar and he jumped in the lake....freezing cold lake. He screamed a little after he came up from jumping in, fully submerged.
We left there at 3, got home a little after 5:40. All in all, wonderful trip. I love my friends!
THEN Eli took me to see "Valentines Day" last night. It's that movie that looks like its going to be alot like that movie that came out last Valentines Day, "He's Just Not That Into You". I loved that movie and own it on DVD, but "Valentine's Day" was even better! Eli said he liked it too :)
Today, my Valentine and I are pretty sick. I woke up for church and was having a hard time breathing so I called Eli to tell him I couldn't drive him to church and he was just as bad. We might cancel our dinner plans tonight and celebrate later this week but nothing's been fully decided yet.
I love him so much, have I said that yet? I think Eli Johnston is just the sweetest person God could have given me. He was worried about not having anything all prepared for me today...he asked if he'd still be a good boyfriend since he waited until the day off to get me something hahaha he's just so cute. He's the BEST boyfriend in the world, in my opinion. He's understanding, loving, strict with me as well as honest when he feels I'm wrong, and goodness, nobody really does that for me except him! I can trust him whole heartedly (even when there's days I say I can't trust him, I'm lying and just upset). If I wasn't madly in love with him and wanted to marry him someday, he'd be my "maid of honor" hahahaha he's absolutely my bestest friend in the whole world.
now that I'm all mushy, I'm going to get a shower and try to look good for when he comes over later :)
Happy Valentine's Day!
<3 rachel
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Fistful of Glitter in the Air
Currently, and probably always will be, obsessed with P!nk. She's just so awesome...her voice freaking rocks and she's so much truer to herself than most artists are. I watched a documentary of her on E! and she's the bomb. She just doesn't care what other people think of her, she just wants to express what she's feeling and hopes others can relate...I think some songs I just find entertaining, but others I feel I really can relate.
I'm finding that Creative Non-Fiction is the hardest genre. ever. It's terrifying trying to write something that's really happened to you, knowing that whoever reads it is going to know it really happened to you, AND you're supposed to write it with emotional distance. I'm freaking the most emotional person in the world haha. I'm also finding that I'm caught in between fiction and poetry. I don't think I typically write one more than the other. My poetry is kind of fiction-esc. and my fiction has brevity like poetry does.
btw. i just spit fruit snacks juice all over my hand... i'm SLOBBERING these things are so dang good!
<3 rachel
I'm finding that Creative Non-Fiction is the hardest genre. ever. It's terrifying trying to write something that's really happened to you, knowing that whoever reads it is going to know it really happened to you, AND you're supposed to write it with emotional distance. I'm freaking the most emotional person in the world haha. I'm also finding that I'm caught in between fiction and poetry. I don't think I typically write one more than the other. My poetry is kind of fiction-esc. and my fiction has brevity like poetry does.
btw. i just spit fruit snacks juice all over my hand... i'm SLOBBERING these things are so dang good!
<3 rachel
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Tuesdays are THE BOMB
Ordinarily, I'd only have one class today.
I had a hard time waking up this morning but someone I managed. I was going to eat my breakfast, tweak my assignment for non-fiction and go to class that starts at 12:30. I NEVER check my school email in the mornings but I did today because I was procrastinating doing anything productive. My teacher sent out an email saying class was cancelled for today, and you know why that's so awesome? I don't have to do ANYTHING today!!!! hahaha not really though, I have lots of homework.
Another cool fact- I made a 94% on my first french composition for the semester...woohoo!
today's going to be a great day :)
I had a hard time waking up this morning but someone I managed. I was going to eat my breakfast, tweak my assignment for non-fiction and go to class that starts at 12:30. I NEVER check my school email in the mornings but I did today because I was procrastinating doing anything productive. My teacher sent out an email saying class was cancelled for today, and you know why that's so awesome? I don't have to do ANYTHING today!!!! hahaha not really though, I have lots of homework.
Another cool fact- I made a 94% on my first french composition for the semester...woohoo!
today's going to be a great day :)
Monday, February 8, 2010
The Little Sissy that Snitched.
I don't think tattle tales ever grow out of that habit. I think they always carry that nagging voice inside of them that just wants to throw other people under the bus.
It's really unnerving.
I absolutely can't stand when people volunteer your information, or the information of others just so they have something to say to a specific person. I don't get it. Does this help your ego in some way, for those of you who are like this? Do you want to feel closer to somebody so you just tell them every freaking detail about someone else?
I really don't understand.
I'm venting and I should probably stop here. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed apparently.
I was up pretty late doing homework and I'm paying for it now haha.
please, have a good day today. Don't tell on anybody, mind your own business.
<3 rachel
It's really unnerving.
I absolutely can't stand when people volunteer your information, or the information of others just so they have something to say to a specific person. I don't get it. Does this help your ego in some way, for those of you who are like this? Do you want to feel closer to somebody so you just tell them every freaking detail about someone else?
I really don't understand.
I'm venting and I should probably stop here. I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed apparently.
I was up pretty late doing homework and I'm paying for it now haha.
please, have a good day today. Don't tell on anybody, mind your own business.
<3 rachel
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Skip
I was doing so well this semester! I hadn't been late once, and I haven't skipped at all. My french conversation professor has missed a class at least once a week and we have the class three times a week so...that's alot of class. I like the professor that we have for a sub so much better than our actual teacher. She's snarky and rude...BUT she sent us an email giving us a heads up that she won't be in class tomorrow and we'll have a sub because she has some conference to go to. Whenever we have the substitute we do absolutely nothing but go around the classroom reading from the textbook and personally I think that's a waste of my time. Therefore, I'm not going. Hence, the first class I am skipping for Spring Semester 2010 is French Convo I.
I've recently downloaded several songs composed by John Williams off of itunes. If you don't know who that is, he is the guy who wrote the music for ET, Jurassic Park, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Memoirs of a Geisha, Superman, Jaws...need I say more? He's amazing. I blare the music in my car on the way to school and I feel like I'm flying, or in some grand journey hahah.
Family's coming tomorrow, I'm SO excited :) We're going to dinner at Cheesecake Factory and if you know me at all, you know I'm freaking out about the cheesecake part of the deal haha.
anyways, goodnight!
<3rach
I've recently downloaded several songs composed by John Williams off of itunes. If you don't know who that is, he is the guy who wrote the music for ET, Jurassic Park, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Memoirs of a Geisha, Superman, Jaws...need I say more? He's amazing. I blare the music in my car on the way to school and I feel like I'm flying, or in some grand journey hahah.
Family's coming tomorrow, I'm SO excited :) We're going to dinner at Cheesecake Factory and if you know me at all, you know I'm freaking out about the cheesecake part of the deal haha.
anyways, goodnight!
<3rach
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