Holic.

I love that while I'm always working, or at least it feels like it, I have time to do fun things. Last night Eli and I drove to Orlando to see some of our friends play in their new band. It was their very first show so it's cool that we got to go see them. We ended up eating out at Steak N Shake and I don't know if I'll ever eat there again. My burger was so unbelievably greasy. The grease dripped from the patty onto my plate and after congealing to the plate and to the far from fresh lettuce I picked off my burger, it hardened. I stared at it for a while and I thought about it running through and sticking to my arteries. Today, I stuck to fruits and a salad for lunch and for dinner I cooked my own chicken and some rice. I feel better already, actually.


I feel that I have a problem that I'd like to address. I feel that it's a serious issue.

I LOVE SHOPPING TOO MUCH.
Okay, okay so this isn't really a serious issue, except that our economy is flopping and I can't stop thinking about buying cute little candles or movies, or lamps. THINGS I DON'T NEED!
Thank goodness the Lord is somehow keeping me from buying all of these things right now, but it's still a temptation. I think Stacy giving me the table, chair and soon rug, it's holding me off for now. I think I just love decorating and buying new things to fill the apartment.

I am also currently obsessed with pretzel M&M's. Have you tried them yet? You need to. Eli and I ate most of them while at the movie theater the other night.



What do you guys think of my new background? I'm not absolutely crazy about it like I was my other one with the adorable pink flowers around both sides...but apparently the site I was using didn't realize that some of their backgrounds weren't permanent on photobucket.com.


I'm done blogging for the night because HGTV is on ;)

<3rach

Free Stuff!

God is so good.

I'm not *loving* being a cashier at Wal-Mart, but I do however love the money in the bank. Just when I wasn't sure if I was even going to be able to come back to USF due to financial reasons, both my mom and I got jobs and my dad's work as a stock-broker picked back up and I believe that God wanted us to look only to Him to provide the means of making money. I stopped relying on my good grades and my own "good" character and got on my knees and begged for a way to help my family out and He did. I'm so grateful and I don't want to lose sight of that. I have to think about this often because of how customers treat me on a regular basis. Basically, I'm treated like a piece of crap. It's humbling to just look people in the eye after they're rude to you when you've done NOTHING wrong and then apologize to THEM for it. I don't plan on working here for a long period of time or anything, but while I'm working here I don't want to make the experience meaningless. I was desperate for the work and HE provided, and along with that, He's testing my patience and I'm having to humble myself every day in ways I never thought I'd put up with.



Another note: I love free stuff. Stacy is moving into her new apartment and she is giving away some furniture. She gave me her black IKEA table and it's sooo adorable in our place! She also generously gave me her chair and will be giving me the matching rug for the living room. It's nice to have grown-up friends ;)


I'm pretty tried right now but I wanted to write because I haven't in a while. Until next time when I have the energy and will power---
<3 rach

Awake and Functioning

I am proud to say that I am still able to wake up at 5am and function.

I knew last night that it would be an early morning, but I didn't fall asleep until close to midnight. I had to take a friend I know from my home church, Riverbend, to the Tampa International Airport. Her flight left before 7am so we knew we'd have to leave my apt. by at least 5:15 if we wanted to miss traffic and get here there an hour before her flight left. She arrived at my place a little after 5:15am actually but we still made it there in GREAT time. This morning seems like a dream. The air was cool and damp, the sky was black and there were no stars. Surprisingly, there were many cars on the road, especially the closer we got to the airport. I don't know what it is, but though I'm terrified of flying, I always feel a rush of adrenaline when I'm around the airport. There's hundreds of people, bustling about going in a myriad of different directions for different types of trips. Some are getting to see loved ones on the other side of the flight, some just for business, and others are coming home. Flying is a strange thing. I was excited as I was driving and a little sad that I didn't get to fly with my friend. I don't know her well AT ALL, but I was envious of the adventure.

Dropping her off was quick and painless, though the traffic was heavy getting back on the Interstate. The sky was now navy blue with streaks of dark green. I love how different the sky looks on the west coast compared to the east. A sunrise on the east coast is so much more dramatic than on the west, but the west is much more subtle and I enjoyed it. I blared the radio as I was becoming more awake and alert and I wanted something to listen to. The talkative, obnoxious men on the alternative rock radio station were funny and enjoyable to listen to for a change. I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment and sat in my car for a minute or two before climbing 3 flights of stairs. I liked waking up that early. I contemplated what it would be like if I woke up that early every morning for fun. What if I drove to the airport ritually and watched the people racing in and out of the electronic doors, and the valets smoothly removing baggage from cars to the pavement that created the click click of the suitcases? What if I parked my car in the drop off area and rolled the windows down, and dozed off to the acoustics of people talking and cars humming under the concrete overpasses?

I guess I would be weird.

New Blog Title

Yes, I'm blogging twice in one day; WATCH OUT! I felt it was important to change my title because every time I would sign on, I got annoyed with it. My new title is called, "Quest for Words" because as a creative writer, I feel I'm constantly searching for the right words, the most inspiring words, the most creative words. The sub title is self-explanatory...I'm constantly battling my own imagination.

Found my new background at hotbliggityblog.com, check it out if you see something you like!


<3

Cinnamon and Scrabble

Time passes quickly like the hours that seem like moments that you get to sleep before a day you dread to wake up to. I sit alone in my apartment, nostalgic, remembering what it was like a year ago living with my parents while working at a preschool just as a summer job. I celebrated my one year anniversary with Eli, rejoiced at being 20 and I enjoyed spending time with my sisters. I celebrated my two year anniversary with Eli a few weeks ago, and I allowed the Fourth of July to pass me by without thanking God for my country and freedom. I worked that night, jealous of everyone who wasn't stuck inside, but laughing when the rain wouldn't stop. I watch the little kids with their parents, some cute, some really annoying that I wish I could smack. Sometimes when parents are polite enough to apologize for their screaming child who keeps spinning my wheel of bags around before I can put their groceries inside that I used to work at a preschool, and I understood. I don't understand though, I'm not in their shoes. I think that we try to empathize with people by the closest experience we have to that situation so that they feel like they're not the only ones, or maybe we do it so we feel we have experience. Truth is we don't know how to really empathize with people because every situation is different. Nothing truly happens twice because we're all different people.

Last night a friend told me to "quit technology" so I could write more. I'm considering it. I grabbed an orange composition notebook I bought 2 years ago to be my journal for french 1. I reread all the entries and laughed at how simple my grammar was, and at that time I was so proud of my 2 sentences per entry. They were entries like, "Je m'appelle Rachel. Je suis fatigue". Translation: My name is Rachel. I am tired. "Mon prof est tres stupid et gros." Translation: My teacher is very stupid and fat. During that semester, 2 years ago this fall, I was living in a dorm on campus and I had just met Jamie and Natasha. God really knew what He was doing by placing Jamie in my life. I was still a mass communications major and I was really happy with the way I looked. Though I didn't write about my life in this orange composition notebook, I felt it was appropriate to use because it's a diverse piece of material. For one, it's orange. Secondly, the first 10 pages are just little sentences I put together for a french journal and its funny. Lastly, I hate wasting paper and I've never filled out an entire notebook before.

I like writing online, it's alot faster for me to write, but I think that having a notebook to carry around with me would not only be good in the case that I became inspired and just happened to have it at hand, I think it would make me look artsy and intellectual if I walked around constantly with something to write with. Isn't it funny how much we care about appearance?

Being a Muggle Sucks

Time and time again. I'm sick of the American standard of beauty...and I'm sick of seeing half-naked women wherever I go, and 3/4 naked women all over the internet...on FACEBOOK. I swear I need to delete half the girls on my friends list.

I miss writing. Not blogging, even though this is fun too.


I wish my life were epic like the battle song in the new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows trailer. I also wish Hogwarts was real.

I told myself I was going to bed before 1:30 and it's an hour later and I'm awake because I'm sad and scared. Maybe I don't have a reason to be though. I know God's got it all planned out for me but when I can't see, when I can't know certainty, I fear.


this is RANDOMMMMMM because I'm tired and felt like blogging since it's no longer June, but July. Holy cow.


night.