Last Day of January 2010

If I'm sitting here writing this blog...what does that indicate to you?
-yep. I'm procrastinating.
I have to have "The Great Gatsby" read by tomorrow at 6:20pm. There's 180 pages...it's 10:33pm tonight and I am on page 70. Terrific! I've read it before, and I thoroughly enjoyed it--I just do not feel like reading it again right now. I feel like I need a big break from school. I'm worn out, I'm tired of it. I'd never take a semester off because I can't honestly say I know I'd come back for sure after the break. If I could take a break I'd love to go to France for a year...just chill, walk around...sleep in the gutters...something along those lines. I'm just kidding about the gutter part :)


I'm having an intense internal struggle lately with how crazy and out of hand I allow my emotions to get. I spoke to a friend last summer about this issue and they said that it was said to them, "there's a difference between godly emotions and sinful emotions" and I'm not sure which ones I have for the most part. I know I have some of both, but I'd like to say that SOME are for good reason. I find myself CRYING close to, if not, every day. Sometimes I'm not even sad...I just wait til I'm alone and I absolutely unravel. Sometimes it's just a few tear drops that barely leave my tear ducts and I'm fine...others, it's a 20 minute sob fest. I'm convinced God knew I would need Jenny Lee in my life and I can't believe how much I love the Lee family already and they've not even been here a year yet. She was really encouraging about this issue and said that she deals with the same thing and to not be so hard on myself. The way she explained it was looking at it like a gift: God gave me an emotional release button that once I'm done, I feel better. Some people have to go through so much more to just get it all out. As long as I'm not crying to manipulate someone, I don't think I'm being sinful in crying.

This may seem really, really trivial because its just crying and emotions but it's been really heavy on my heart lately and until Jenny talked to me about it on Thursday, I wasn't "okay" or comfortable with myself.

I guess I wanted to talk about this because I was ashamed of it before, and now I'm not. I guess if anybody has further comments about it, feel free to post, I'm for sure interested in your thoughts.

Tomorrows work load: French Conversation
Poetry I
French Composition
American Lit. 1912-1945

So around 9:30 tomorrow night, I'll be able to relax.


<3 rachel

Minute to Spare

I have just a few minutes before I have to leave the apt. and head back to school...for a 50 minute class. I regret taking 5 classes so much because I have hw for every class this weekend, and ordinarily my french conversation class doesn't even give out hw.

Nothing too interesting has happened to me this week other than I had an excellent work out with Eli on Tuesday. I was soooo sore when I woke up the next morning, I wish I had time to work out every day. Maybe I will later on today after class.

Something I have a crazy obsession with is TARGET. I LOVE shopping there and it gets me in trouble because half the time, I don't really need to shop. Everything they sell there is just so darn cute.

Well that's the minute that I have, until next time!

<3 rachel

not a fan

I am not a fan of T.S. Eliot's "The Waste Land". It's poem of about five sections, a few stanza's per section...and I just don't really like it. It's difficult to analyze and I think it's because each stanza has a different speaker...IDK. I guess I'll figure it out by tomorrow haha.

Tomorrow is going to be such a long day because it's going to be the second time I've actually had all four of my classes since last week we had the day off...yikes. Pray that I make it through all four. I'm second guessing my judgment on picking times for classes.

Last night was Lauren's bachelorette party; included going to cheesecake factory, walking around the international mall, and some presents :) at this time, I'd like to shout out to Nicole Cooke and Laura Walker who said they were interested in blogging!!!!
I ended up getting the Deulce de Leche cheesecake and I could have sworn I would have finished it off there in the restaurant but I barely ate half. If I lived any closer to that place, I'd get cheesecake every day. I wish Eli liked it more because if he did, I'm certain I'd go even though it's a 20 minute drive.


That's all for now, tons of homework to do tonight.

<3 rachel

Kittens, Inspired by, KITTENS!

I wish I knew the Kittens Inspired by Kittens girl. She's just so awesome...I think we'd be best friends. I used to do that with my old yearbooks and magazine's. I'd even draw the little thought bubbles and write things next to their faces like, "I have to fart" or "I love to smell my poop"....not much has changed! hahahaha jk.


Have I written about my new lamp from IKEA, yet? In the case that I haven't, it's beautiful. It's white...made of glass, and it has cherry blossom's all around it and it's BEAUTIFUL!


I think it says something about me that I always blog when I don't want to do homework...I have tons to do but for some reason, for the moment, it's totally acceptable for me to completely ignore it. GARSH.

My French Conversation professor lost some family who lived in Haiti after the earthquake last week. Please be in prayer for those people. May God protect them from diseases, starvation, and God-forbid, murder.

Tres Bizarre

I want to start attaching stuff I write on here so whoever reads this (anybody?) can read what I'm writing since it's my major.
I'm fairly certain that my favorite class will be my creative non-fiction course. My teacher is awesome and I think I'm going to be pushed...I'm really excited! I'm taking PoetryI with my non-fiction teacher's wife hahaha. She seems like a stickler but once again, I think I'm going to learn alot.

This morning I wasn't sure if it was going to be hot or cold outside because I've noticed that around noon it's been getting warmer out. I pressed the back of my hand to the window in my room in the apartment and the glass didn't feel cold at all...almost warm even. I put on some shorts and a short-sleeved shirt and I only grabbed a jacket so the other kids in my classes didn't see my fat rolls. However, when I walked outside I was hit with a gust of crisp, COLD air! So...saved by this bizarre cold weather in TAMPA, FLORIDA, I got to wear my jacket all day :)


I'm gonna go read and attempt to be productive!

<3 rachel

Class Tomorrow!

French Conversation, Poetry, French Composition, and American Literature.
Lookin' like a fun day already....

RUF's handing out free hotdogs and I'm hoping this creates a good opportunity to meet new people who are interested in Christianity or is already a Christian and looking for fellowship. We had a spaghetti dinner at Jeff and Jenny's house tonight and got to discuss our ministry and how we're planning on reaching out to people. I hope that more people that are already coming to RUF become more involved and actually decide to serve others instead of waiting around to be catered to. I'm not thinking of anybody specific and I know people have alot going on, but so do the people who are committed already. Jeff and Jenny have put so much into this ministry and I'm so thankful for the both of them.


Good luck with school, to everyone who's starting again tomorrow.

<3
rachel

Mal?

I think I may be getting sick. Please pray that I don't because I go home in a few days and class starts Monday--yikes.


Jury Duty last Monday was pointless, but I'm glad I only had to wait an hour and a half before they sent us all home.


Why is it so cold in Florida? Global Warming my rear end.

2010

Can anyone else believe this?
And to think that people say that the world will end in 2012!!!! What are YOUR plans for the next two years before the world ends?
I think I'm going to definitely travel. And getting married would be nice too within the next 2 years... :) I'm not saying that's what's happening hahahha BUT if the world were to end in 2012, I hope that at least I would have been married and enjoyed the...perks.

anyway, I don't think the world will end that abruptly.

I'm going to go drink a nice cold Dr. Pepper and lounge around some more.


happy new year!

<3 rachel