Last Day in March!

Tomorrow is April Fool's Day and I have nothing planned. I've never really done anything before so I don't think the universe will be missing out. I do have one story though...


The April Fool's Day of my freshman year of highschool...which would have been 2004 (whoa), we had a Passion Play rehearsal. I think it was either blocking or a run-through. For those of you who don't know what Passion Play is, it's an annual play my church back at home in Ormond Beach does...it's about the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. Anyway, so there's this scene in the play where we all kinda walk around singing, lifting our hands and stuff and the song is called "Hosanna God, Save Us" or maybe it's just "Hosanna God" I forget, I haven't been in the play in 3 years :(
But the pastor who leads the music had headphones in and he was conducting and word got around that we were all going to lipsync and not actually sing the song. There's about 100 people, maybe more, singing all at once onstage so when the song began, and all of our mouths were moving but there was no noise, Pastor Rick looked really confused and was tapping his headphones and when he finally took them off he started laughing and so did we.

I miss being in Passion Play ALOT!


I think that for the next blog that I write, I'm going to write out a prayer. I think it would be cool...

<3 rachel

77th Blog

I think I should have saved this type of blog title for a better number like, 100. But 77's a cool number too I suppose.


I made this blog my freshman year of college, I think in the spring time. I like that I use it alot more now. It's a great place to vent and I love looking back to stuff I wrote awhile ago.

List time!
Current annoyances:
-my glasses STILL aren't here. I hate US mail.
-William Faulkner, "Light in August". I have to read it for American Lit. bluadfkj.
-I'm sick :( I woke up at 5:45am this SATURDAY morning because my glands were so swollen, I couldn't breathe. It was a little scary but apparently I eventually fell asleep and I got to sleep in until 11:30. I love sleeping late ;)
-nobody's hiring me...and I need a job.


Current Praises:
-there's only a few more weeks left of school
-I have the best parents in the world
-I had enough motivation to both work out today and clean my room
-I have the best boyfriend in the world
-God's teaching me to lean on Him more than friends.
-I'm alive.

So the good outweighs the bad...as it always should.


I need to run a few errands today and do some homework so I'm getting off this blog for now.

<3rachel

Twenty Minutes

I went to a reading last night by Kathleen Finneran and she was pretty cool. She read from her book "The Tenderland" and read from her manuscript that she's working on called, "More Than I Can Say". I think I enjoy poetry readings more than fiction/non-fiction readings because they seem like they last a much longer time. At poetry readings the poet can talk about the poem, read for a minute or two, then talk to the audience again. Last night, she read for like 25 minutes straight and for me personally, it was hard to sit still. I'm a horrible fidgeter haha. I overall loved what she read, I just think I'd rather read it than hear it. It was alot to take in.

I have about 20 minutes to spare and that's why I got on here to write. I can't believe there's only 4-5 weeks left of school! Normally, I'd be nervous but I don't really have finals this semester. I have a few papers and one short test for french conversation.

*Eli painted my toenails last night* hahahaha and HE ASKED ME IF HE COULD. I didn't even ask him to. He's such a sweetie, I love him so much :)

Alright, I don't really have much more to say so I'm going to stop before I ramble.

<3rach

Am I supposed to be flattered?

They say imitation is the biggest or most sincere form of flattery.

Why is it so annoying, then?

The Love of Christ

"The Love of Christ is rich and free; Fixed on His own eternally; nor earth nor hell can it remove; Long as He lives, His own He'll love."
- Derek Webb and Sandra McCracken

I really enjoy listening to indelible grace. They're so awesome. I'm looking forward to RUF this week, we had alot of visitors last Tuesday and I love how more and more people are hearing about this ministry. God is really, so good.

I find that I feel really guilty. Not just guilty of sin, but I feel guilt over things I'm not doing. I don't love Christ enough. I fall really short, every day. Mehhh. I'm praying that God gives me faith and that I'd have faith in His sufficient grace.

Eli is amazing, by the way. <3

I just wanted to blog real quick because this song was in my head and I wanted to write it down on here.

night! <3

"Isn't that spit on your neck, kick you in the crotch FANTASTIC?!"

I brought my FRIENDS dvd's back home (home being Tampa). I can already see that a night won't go by that I don't watch an episode. I don't know how some people don't like it. It guess it goes to show you that we really are ALL made so differently from one another.

I don't have much to say right now other than I counted and there's only 38 school days left of my spring 2010 semester.

A way you can pray for me: that I find a part-time job, especially for summer. I'll only be taking 2 classes, online, and so during the day I'd like to work somewhere. Katie and I applied at a preschool today and I can't tell how sure they were about calling either of us back in for another interview. I hope that one of us gets it, we both need it!

Creative writing is a hard major...I'm not saying its harder than like Engineering or Pre-Med or something but it's harder than other people would think. I feel like I'm all dried out of creative fluid. I need inspiration! I love the classes I'm taking, but there's SO MUCH writing, I'm getting a little burned out :( hopefully this changes soon.


RUF tonight! I've missed my friends!

MUCH LOVE <3 rachel

Unsettled

Two more days and I'll be back to school, working my rear end off again.

I've had an average week. I didn't do anything I wouldn't normally do except I didn't have to go to school along with it. This may sound dull, but I don't think my mind could have handled anything more than that. Every night there's been intense conversations, be it with my parents, sisters, boyfriend, friends that come over to catch up, etc. I'm over-whelmed and I miss the days when I didn't actually have anything to really think about other than who I was going to play with at recess that day at school. This sucks...

There's something about the "end-times" that's never settled with me. Every believer is supposed to be overjoyed that Christ is coming back and that the end of the world is the beginning of life with Jesus and stuff, but if I'm really going to be honest...I don't like thinking about it. I think I'd much rather live a normal life, get married, have kids, take them to some sort of extra curricular activity, travel...this all sounds so incredibly selfish when I write it all out. I just struggle with doubt so much and when I think about Christ's return, it freaks me out. It churns my stomach.
I think the biggest thing is if I lived a normal life, there's no way that I would die that hadn't already been done before, you know? But when Christ comes back...well, nobody's gone through that before and I HATE change and uncertainty. I almost don't want to think about it.

Is this sinful?

blooooog

Spring Break '10 is different from other spring breaks that I've had before. I have not yet been to the beach...I'm actually doing homework, I stayed in Tampa, and I'm looking for a job. This is so weird. But, I'm fairly relaxed.

I'm putting off homework by sitting here on my couch in my apartment...TV's off...nothing really distracting me, but I'm refusing to get in the shower because I know that when I'm clean, I'll actually have to do something. I'm such a lazy gal.


Busch Gardens this past saturday was amazing. I love that theme park... I'd totally buy the year pass but I don't know anybody else who has it :(
I did feel like I was in high school again because I was with a bunch of high schoolers and my former youth pastor. It was a nice feeling, though.


I don't really have much to say other than I'm a little annoyed because I clean all of my dishes the day that I use them, and yet I always end up doing someone else's. I'm 99.9% certain that this favor isn't reciprocated because of how OCD I am about my own dirty dishes.
I'm not writing to start drama, because I don't even know who's they are. I just don't understand why it's always me...

Question: why do people love to be vague on their facebooks, twitters, and blogs? I know I can be sometimes, then I get mad when people want to know what's up. I think I do it to complain or vent but I don't want to be specific enough to let the person I'm annoyed with know I'm annoyed with them...it's pretty messed up so I try not to be that way.


This is all I'm writing for now because I REALLY need to shower.

see ya!
<3 rachel

Lying

I'm reading a book called "Lying" by Lauren Slater...it's a memoir, so it's non-fiction. The first chapter only has two words: "I exaggerate". I found this interesting because now throughout the rest of the book, I'm not sure what's real and what's just emotional truth.
Very interesting stuff.

I went to the post office today because I made a card for Kemper Langford and it took me forever to get some stamps to mail it to Alabama. I slid the card into the blue metal box thingy outside and I realized I've only done that maybe 3 other times in my LIFE! Email ruins everything cool. I think we should all write each other letters.

I am interested in everything else besides studying for my midterm for French Conversation. She is the WORST teacherrrrrr. She makes me physically afraid to speak out in her class because she makes fun of you if you don't speak French perfectly. By the way, I can't even understand her because her Haitian accent is so thick. I can understand Parisian accents so much better and they even speak faster.

I'm going to Busch Gardens with some students from youth group back at home. I have connections with my sister being in student council and all ;)

So I probably won't blog again until then.


<3

J'ai reçu une note?

There's only one more class I must go to before my spring break officially begins. I can't skip it, either :(
It's the class I hate the most, it's the most useless class I'm taking...AND it's the only class that's giving me a midterm.
This professor will receive a little critique on the back of her performance worksheet at the end of this semester.

I'm going home, to Daytona Beach, for a few days next week to do the following:

-get my eyes checked (so I might return to school with glasses).

-get my oil changed

-get my hair cut

-bring back to Tampa with me my "Office" dvd's and "Friends" dvds.


I guess I should also do all of my homework too, blehg.sdf.


Today was better than yesterday.

:)

Shame

Sometimes I'm so ashamed I want to crawl in a hole and die.
and the weird thing is, I didn't even do anything. People can be so hateful and rude... I really don't understand but I guess you're not going to get along with everyone you meet.
Then you meet people who are very kind and nice to be around, and thank God for them.

I'm feeling lonely right now, though. I'm not sure if its because Spring Break is happening next week and I have nothing really fun planned, or if I'm just a loser anyway.

I wish I could fall asleep and maybe waking up tomorrow will make me feel better automatically but I took a two hour nap this afternoon and I'm not tired at all.

Life kinda sucks.