"There is a stirring deep within me"

I will rise up, rise up
and bow down
and lay my crown
at his wounded feet!

I really love that song. I listened to it like 5 times on my way back to Tampa on Easter. I'm pausing and deleting half of what I write on this entry because I want to say I'm running out of things to say, but the truth is I just don't want to look stupid in writing what I'm feeling.

I feel like a failure.

For whatever reason, I can't get a job. I've felt this way for months seeing as I've been applying to different places for a while now. I feel unwanted; I'm not good enough. Today, I almost had hope. This company sent me an email last night saying my resume was selected and they would be conducting phone interviews Friday (today/yesterday), from 2-7pm. Yeah, they never called. At least they sent me an email at 7:04pm saying my resume in fact was NOT selected...and they wished me good luck in finding a job. What the heck? Don't tell me I've been selected for an interview, make me sweat all freakin' day for your call, then say I wasn't selected. I'd rather them tell me up front they're not interested. What's up with that? I know that I'll get a job if it's God's will for me to get a job. Maybe I'm just not looking in the right place...you know?
.

Writing is difficult.

I want to be true. I want to be genuine. I think some people get that from me and others are just so stuck on how mighty their damn writing is they are completely oblivious to what I'm trying to say. I hate that. And I know that if I try to publish anything, some people won't understand...arrogant people just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

HEY!!! I wrote so much more than I intended to! I feel better as well. Hopefully I'll write again before the weekend's over.


<3rachel